The Life of Titus

Resting (and other topics)

2012-01-31T11:42:00.001-06:00

Titus came home on Sunday afternoon - and while he is so glad to be home in a familiar surrounding, he's still got pneumonia and still sick. He requires a lot of deep suctioning throughout the day (something that he intensely dislikes), but he always calms down quickly as soon as it's over.

We are watching him very, very carefully to assure he remains stable and calm. He won't be returning to school until we know he is back to 100%.

As usual, when Titus is in the hospital, we all settle into our "hospital routine." But for some reason, over the last few years, I have developed an inability to sleep at home when Titus/Becky are at the hospital. This means, I am watching moview, reading books, and only getting 3-4 hours of sleep at night. Last Saturday night was one of those nights.

But, Sunday morning, Aidan, Noah, and I needed to be at church for an 8am meeting for our upcoming mission trip to Honduras. Punctuality is key to these meetings (for those who have been on a Youth FBC McKinney mission trip - you know exactly what I mean). As Noah, Aidan and I practiced our spanish, we keep getting tickled since one of my boys has a propensity of messing up Jorge and Jesus. I assure him that JorgeCristo will mean nothing to the Hondurans.

All through the meeting and Sunday School, I am struggling to stay coherent and awake (although I'm not entirely sure I was coherent on my words). But once church started, the caffiene had kicked in and I was ready for a great time of worship. Pastor Lee brought an incredible sermon on the end times and the "crowns" awaiting those believers. As I sit between Tucker and Cade, my heart is full with the incredible sense of worship.

As the service was ending and Pastor Lee was beginning to pray, I closed my eyes deep in prayer only to be startled with the what happened next.

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My eyes open, and Tucker looks at me with that grin - which then breaks into a smile - which is leading to a laugh. Meanwhile, the pastor is still praying, Noah's shoulders are shaking, and as I look around, I see those sitting around me stifling the laughter through the prayer.

Tucker whispers (quite loudly) "I couldn't help it - it just came out".

And while I believe spontaneous praise should burst out during worship, I'm not convinced that burping falls into that category. So, to my incredible pastor, church, and those sitting around us on on the 3rd row, I offer my deepest apologies for the disturbance (and smell) of Tucker's burp duing the most sensitive time of the service. All I can say is - we are working on it.

Coming Home

2012-01-29T13:28:00.001-06:00

Becky is headed home with Titus - while he has gotten better over the last few days, he still has some recovery to do before he has back to 100%.

We are all ready for Titus (and mom) to be back home. While Titus was in the hospital, he was on a steroid that made him hyper. He would thrash his toys around the bed, throw his pillows off the bed, and was pretty funny with all the extra "strength" he seemed to be exuding. They took him off the steroid yesterday, took his IV out today, and all of his antibiotics can be given through his G-tube now.

The boys and I went up to spend some time at the hospital yesterday. I think the picture pretty much speaks for itself.

Slow Improvement

2012-01-27T14:13:00.002-06:00

Titus is showing improvement - slow and steady. His oxygen has been turned down, but is still twice the level we have him at home. When he's awake, he's content and alert (except when the nurse is giving him meds in his IV). Becky has propped him up in the chair so he's not laying down all the time.

In some ways, Titus is just like any other kid in the hospital. He gets bored when there's nothing to do. He is used to going to school, going to therapy, and having 4 older brothers play with him all day. And at the hospital - well, he has mom and the nurses. And this video shows you what he is up to.

But, this morning, Titus had a first. Becky mentioned last night that Titus had a loose tooth. Now, this is a little strange since most 4 year olds aren't loosing their teeth yet. But since Titus was born with a horseshoe-shaped cleft palate, the doctors were always wondering what teeth would come in. And, for those that have seen his smile, you know that Titus has a full set of teeth. Several of his teeth though are fused together and pretty stained.

This morning - he lost his first baby tooth. Becky is trying to get a picture of him without it and as soon as I have it, we will post it.

At this point, we anticipate Titus coming home Sunday, but as we have learned, we take it each day as it comes.

And, I have to say this - thank you to Becca and Melissa for going down and visiting with Becky and Titus yesterday. That made her day and you guys made her laugh. You two are precious friends and we love your families dearly.

15 Years Ago

2012-01-25T21:42:00.002-06:00

15 years ago, Becky and I were at the hospital anticipating Aidan's arrival. And right before midnight, Aidan was born. With Aidan's birth, our journey into parenthood began. And the last 15 years have been quite a ride. So, to my oldest son, happy birthday. You are a joy and make your parents proud.

And tonight, 15 years later, Becky is in the hospital again - this time with Titus. This morning, Ada, Titus' nurse, stated Titus had started running a low fever. So we kept him home from school - and within the next few hours, his fever rose, his breathing became more labored, and his oxygen kept getting turned up. At 10:30am, Becky took him down to the ER at Children's Medical City and the diagnosis came back as pneumonia. Within a few hours, Titus was admitted to a room and has been resting.

We are very fortunate and thankful for the staff at Children's Medical City who know Titus so well and for his doctors who know how quickly Titus can take a turn for the worse. We are confident that he is where he needs to be.

Our prayers are that the antibiotics provided will help his body fight the pneumonia and infection. We know Titus' lungs are so compromised even without pneumonia. We anticipate he will be spending the next few days in the hospital.

Becky took this picture this morning before his fever was up - Tucker loves playing with Titus (and Quita is a great sport to be a pillow).

Hard Work

2011-12-12T22:11:00.000-06:00

Titus consistently goes to therapy. And at times, it does seem that everything Titus does relates to therapy in some shape, form or fashion - whether it's physical, occupational, or speech (both for sounds and eating), much of his day is spent practicing over and over the little tasks that many of us just take for granted.

For years, Ren, his physical therapist at Baylor Our Children's House, has worked with Titus on the basics of sitting up, kneeling, crawling. She will work for weeks (and sometimes months) on training one muscle group on one task.

This year, Ren has been working on combining several of these repetitive motions for a task. Titus is now sitting for up to 2-3 minutes at a time (now, we have to put him in that position - but he can now hold himself there by working to maintain his balance with his arms/hands). He's not to the point where he can put himself into a sitting position, but he's working on it.

Another task they are working is crawling - and while he is far from actually being able to crawl, he is learning to move his arms - and then pull up on a bench. And this little video shows how he is doing. You have to watch him independently move his arms and reach up - and while you may not notice it at first glance, these are the little tasks that he works so hard at to accomplish.

We are very thankful for all of his therapists that work diligently with Titus. We are thankful that they know how to break it all down to small little tasks and train his muscles over and over till he remembers and "gets it". And we are so thankful for a content child who shows diligence in working so hard everyday. When I look at the number of people that work with Titus everyday, it's amazing the stamina that he builds up. Many days after 3 hours at school (where he works and plays), he goes straight to therapy in the afternoon. And while at times I think he may be so fragile, I also realize how his stamina is growing. He is showing us his personality more and more (and on occasion, he shows us a little attitude).

Thanks to all for consistent and sustained prayers for his health and strength. As we enter winter, (and cold/flu season), it's always a tricky time for Titus. Your prayers for his health are always appreciated.

For those of you who read the blog through the Feedburner email subscription, you may need to click on the link to the blog to see the video.

Happy Birthday Titus - You're 4!

2011-11-14T13:34:00.001-06:00

My son turns 4 years old today. This is a great accomplishment and I'm so proud of my son for his strenght, endurance, and will to live.

It's been 4 years . . .
48 months . . .
1461 days and (many sleepless) nights . . .

I lost count of the number of days Titus has spent in the hospital, the number of procedures, and there are days, I don't think I remember the long list of challenges that Titus' face.

The day Titus was born, and we saw that he could not breathe, we lived in a bubble that surgery would correct his jaw to improve his breathing and then everything we would be fine. And we stood by helplessly as they strapped him down in the transport pod to take him to Medical City Dallas. Neither one of us got to hold him that first day.

The next day, when the doctor met with us to let us know the results of all they had discovered - hemi-vertebrae in the spine, full cleft palate, horshoe-shaped kidney, not-quite-club foot, dandy-walker variant(cyst at the base of the brain) along with the noticiable micronagthia (recessed chin) - we just stood there in shock.

A few weeks later, we learned Titus needed a g-tube so they could continue to feed you and we sent Titus off for his first surgery.

A few weeks more passed, and they did an advanced hearing test since the first results were inconclusive. I watched the nurse as she ran the test. I watched her face . . . I watched the machine . . . and before she ever said a word, I knew the results. Titus could not hear - not a sound in either ear.

Before Christmas, we sent Titus back into surgery to have his jaw broken and reset with pins/screws. His soft baby skin was punctured with a hideous looking screw coming out behind your ears. Each day, I turned the screws to push his jaw out one small millimeter at a time.

In February, Titus came home after 62 days. I was as nervous as a first time dad having him in the house. But his brothers smothered him with hugs and kisses. It was the first time they really got to hold Titus without all the wires and machines. But 8 days later, the ambulance came to take Titus back since he was struggling to breathe. And we spent another 2 months in the NICU - 2 more months where we couldn't hold him and he was hooked up to a ventilator. He was so heavily sedated with painkillers, they had to treat him with methadone before he could come home to wean him off (baby rehab is what I called it).

And then we learned of the congential glaucoma and his eyesight would be limited if there was any at all. And a trip to Houston ended up being another 10 days in the hospital.

But Titus did come home, and we did settle into a routine of learning how to care for such a fragile child. And how to work with nurses and therapists in the home. And how to manage all the doctor's appointments, all the diagnosis, all the paperwork, all the referrals, all the questions.

After Titus turned one, he received his cochlear implant. And over the months, we experienced a thrill to see how Titus react when his cochlear was activated. It has given him the chance to hear and now we are watching him work with the therapist to mimic sounds.

When Titus was two, it seemed like we searched for a lot of answers - many that were answered in our trip to Cincinnati Children's Hospital. It was then we learned the conditions of his lungs - and were faced with a choice: A choice to trach and vent for the rest of your life, or a choice to live on oxygen and therapy. Either way, we were told at that point that Titus' life would not be as long as we would wish, but something that would be the hands of God.

When Titus was three, he started school. And has gone from going 3 days a week to 5 days a week. It is so much fun to see the little items Titus comes home with - and see the pictures of him finger-painting or going down the slide with his teacher.

And now he's 4 . . . wow.

My little hero has taught me a lot over the last 4 years. He has shown me life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. He has taught me that a blessing can come in a disguise. He has taught me that God's provision is greater than I ever could have imagined.

Happy Birthday Titus - I love you dearly.

Orphan Sunday

2011-11-06T13:51:00.001-06:00

Orphan Sunday Fixed from FBCMcKinney on Vimeo.

Today is Orphan Sunday - and like many churches around the nation, we celebrated, informed, and prayed for orphans around the world.

Our church has an incredible adoption ministry called The Journey - and it's such an appropriate name since adoption is a journey of faith, journey of ups and down, and ultimately, a journey to your child. It was a great honor to stand with the other families in our church (many of which are on this video) and show others what adoption looks like.

I have often said, DNA does not make a family - God does. And God forms families in all shapes, sizes, and colors. When people look at us, I want them to see us as ONE family: a family of sons born from the heart.

I want everyone to know that anyone can take part in adoption. You may have the resources to sponsor a child at an orphanage. Our church has 3 families working in orphanages in Boliva, Zambia, and Sierra Leone. Our goal is to have every child at each of these orphanages sponsored.

You may have the resources to help a family with their adoption expenses. We shared this morning the adoption fund just for that purposes.

And you may have the calling on your heart to bring a child into your home - through foster care or adoption. We would love to share with your our story and point you into the direction of several agencies that can help you pursue that call. I will echo your thoughts "it's scary to think about bringing a child into your home". But I will also tell you, when God calls, God Provides. And God is pleased when we are obedient to his call. It could be the greatest journey of faith you may ever walk. And please know, we will support and pray you through it.

I love my boys. I love looking in the eyes of Aidan and seeing his mother's smile. I love looking in the eyes of Noah and seeing that he has his fathers grin/dimples. I love looking into Tucker and Cade's eyes and know that they have learned the love of father by being in our family. I love looking at Titus and see that he has his mother's beautiful hands. And I love my wife who loves her husband and boys with an unconditional love.

For those of you who receive the blog through the email feed, the video may not come through - but you can view it on the blog at http://www.thelifeoftitus.blogspot.com/.

Our Adoption Story

2011-11-05T17:01:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is Orphan Sunday. We are excited to be part of the story tomorrow at our church and to be able to stand together with other families to show what adoption looks like.

But in the process, we wrote out our full adoption story. And while some of you may know/remember all this because you walked through it with us, it's always good to look back and remember all that God has done.

This is our story.

Becky and I were married in 1994. Aidan came along in 1997 and Noah followed 17 months later. After a few years, we wanted to expand our family, but experienced a series of losses and complications.

In October, 2003, Becky and I completed our last round of infertility. After two years of riding the infertility treatment roller-coaster, we had determined that if this last round was not successful, we would explore other options. A few weeks later, we found out that we were not pregnant, and decided at that time to spend some time in prayer seeking the Lord's direction. We knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord had called us to having a larger family and we knew that when the Lord calls, the Lord provides.

In January, 2004, we began the adoption process with Dillon International and chose South Korea as the country where we would adopt. We were a little taken aback by the cost for the adoption, but again, we knew that God would provide and as we began the application process and made our initial payments, the money was there. During 2004, international adoptions were moving smoothly and quickly, and we were told that we could have a referral as soon as 4-6 months after we completed our homestudy. We completed all the paperwork, medical work, and homestudy as quickly as we could so we could get on the referral list for a little boy.

At the time, I was a consultant for software company. I absolutely loved my job - It was my dream job. But as the economy began to slow in 2004, the sales pipeline for our business grew to a halt. On June 4, 2004, I received the call that I was laid off with just a few weeks severance. One of my first thoughts was how would this affect our adoption. We were about to hit that window of time when we would be receiving a referral, and along with the referral would be a large payment due towards the adoption. Plus, due to all the processes of adoption, I had to show that I was employed to complete an adoption. I was fearful that the money we had saved up for the adoption would have to be used for living expenses. And, I was worried that the loss of job could postpone the entire adoption for an indefinite period of time.
Two weeks after being laid off, I received a call from a former co-worker to work as a project manager for an implementation project for the summer. I didn't have the specific qualifications for the job, but this man was assured that I had the skills to complete the job. He asked me to come in for interview, but also told me to be prepared to stay the day and start work. I drove downtown the following Monday unsure that I could handle this job, but also knowing that I would never know what I could do if I didn't take a few risks and take a step of faith.

I accepted the position and began work immediately for the next 12 weeks. During that time, God provided abundantly. On the 2nd to last day of the contract job, we received a phone call from the adoption agency asking us to consider the referral of a little 6-wk old boy who had been born a few weeks premature. We knew immediately upon reviewing the paperwork that this was our son and the next morning we accepted the referral and received an email with his pictures attached. This was the first time we saw our Tucker Paul.

And, here's the "rest of the story" . . . not only did we have all the money we needed to finish paying off the adoption, but I had made enough money during those 12 weeks to pay ALL of our adoption expenses (including all the money we had already paid) and pay all our living expenses at the time.
What an opportunity we had to teach Aidan and Noah Psalm 37:25 “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” and Phil 4:19 “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” For us, it was a living testimony that when God calls, God Provides.
Through a series of changes in policy and timing, it was 6 months before we could bring Tucker home (at the time, children were coming home 6-8 weeks after the referral). Those were the longest 6 months - everyday was an anticipation of "could this be the day we get our travel call". Finally, 28 weeks after our referral, we got the call that we could travel to Seoul to pick up Tucker. We finalized our trip plans quickly and left within a few days for Seoul, Korea. Becky and I were able to visit Tucker the day after we arrived. We couldn't keep our hands off of him - he was a promise fulfilled, a living, breathing, healthy, baby boy that our hearts had ached for - and he really didn't want to have anything to do with us. The night we received him, he cried (more like wailed) for over 2 hours. He cried, Becky cried, I cried - all I could think was this was going to be a very long flight home. But he had to learn to trust us, and we had to learn all about this little bundle of boy.
As soon as we finalized Tucker's adoption, we began the process to adopt a little girl from China (because Becky was still after a little girl). As I was viewing our agencies website, a picture of a little boy listed as a waiting child appeared after a few months. His eyes haunted me and I kept going back to his picture day after day. I asked Becky to review - she let me know there was no need - we were getting a girl from China. I was persistent week after week, and Becky finally agreed to review his medical records. This little boy was a waiting child due to medical issues - and issues that could become larger problems as the child grew older. We had several doctors review and we all prayed diligently and knew that this little boy was indeed going to be a "Daily boy". He would only be 4 months younger than Tucker, meaning we were going to have "virtual twins". So 14 months after traveling to Korea to get Tucker, we found ourselves back in Seoul to pick up Cade.

We met with Cade everyday we were in Korea. He was 19 months old at the time and absolutely refused to let us have anything to do with him. He would not let us hold him, would not sit on our lap, would not play with us, and would scream and cry if we were left alone with him. The day we left Korea with Cade, he kicked, screamed, bit, yelled and basically fought us as hard as he can. Cade's transition was more difficult, but we grew to love him, and he grew to love us.

We know and acknowledge that we are a conspicuous family. We know people look at us and point. We are different: we have 5 boys, we have two boys adopted from South Korea, we have a boy with special needs. But we want people to know that families come in all shapes in sizes. It's not DNA that makes a family - and nowhere does it state in the Bible that families must look alike (As I tell my boys, I don't look anything like their mother). And it's a joy and privilege to see how my "Daily boys" love each other, cheer each other on, and are each other's best friends. It's amazing to see how God can put a family together. It's not what I expected when I married Becky. I never dreamed we would have 5 children and still want more, but God moves in mysterious ways.
When we adopted Tucker and Cade, I learned the love of an adoptive father - to love a child not of my blood, but of my heart; to love a child that didn't immediately love me back; to love a child that was chosen to be part of my family. And, as I stood in front of the judge the day we finalized their adoption, and the judge asked me "will you love this child forever - because what you are doing is irrevocable", I realized that yes, I will love this child forever - and the same goes with God's love. His love for me is irrevocable and He promises to love me forever. It's been over 6 years since we started our adoption journey. I can honestly tell you when I look at my family, I see my boys. I do not see the color of the skin or their eyes, I do not see what makes each one different, but I see what makes us all one. We are FAMILY - they are my Daily boys.

Coming Home Tonight

2011-11-03T18:09:00.000-05:00

Titus should be coming home in the next hour. They have been turning his oxygen over the last 24 hours and getting him back to acceptable levels - and the rocephin and steriods seem to have taken care of the infection.

We are constantly amazed and thankful for friends and family who immediately surround us during these times and help keep our household going (especially since Paul was in Atlanta). We are blessed. Blessed with family, blessed with friends, blessed with a praying church, blessed with Aidan, blessed with Noah, blessed with Tucker, blessed with Cade, and blessed with Titus.

As Paul states in Romans 1:8 "I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you . . . "

Also, this weekend is Orphan Sunday. I plan on sharing our adoption story on the blog in the next few days. We will also be standing together as family on Sunday to show the world what adoption looks like. So keep checking back.

In for a Tuneup

2011-11-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

For those that follow Becky and I on FaceBook, you know we posted last night that Titus is went to the hospital yesterday.

Titus received his flu shot last month, but had a reaction a few days later. The doctor put him on a heavy duty antibiotic for a couple of weeks. During that time, Titus has also been teething with some of his molars coming in. And as you know, with new teeth, comes lots of secretions and sometimes fever (and very funny poo). But as Titus finished the antibiotic, his fevers were still there and his breathing was becoming more and more labored. We kept turning his oxygen, but as we have noticed in the past, once we get to a certain point, it's just time to go to the hospital since it generally means there's an underlying issue that needs to be resolved.

When I left for Atlanta yesterday, Titus was "ok", but not stellar. He didn't have a great night and had a small fever. Becky took him to the doctor that morning to have him checked out and they had him go to the lab for blood to be drawn to see what his numbers looked like.

That afternoon, before the labs came back, Becky decided to go ahead and take him down to Medical City - all the signs were there that he needed to be in the hospital. And, the beauty of Medical City is that since we have spent so much time there, they immediately took him back to a room in the ER, and then started working on getting him checked into a room on the Peds floor. With a few hours, Titus was in a room, had an IV going with some antibiotics and steriods, and was settling in. He had a good night (but his oxygen is also turned up to 2 liters), and we anticipate he will be there for a few days.

The ironic thing is, he's still such a happy child. Except for a little crankiness, you wouldn't know he's sick.

As in the past, our family and friends have kicked in to care for the boys and keep things running smoothly since I'm in Atlanta till Thursday (although I'm not sure who is feeding Quita).

BTW, we had a fun time this weekend. We have a great neighborhood and had a block party this weekend.
Here's some pics from the weekend. And Cade celebrated his 7th birthday last week.

Busy Summer

2011-08-23T17:47:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe we are nearing the end of summer (and 40+ days of 100+ temps in Dallas) and I have only blogged once. In some ways, there hasn't been much to write about, and then again, we have been incredibly busy. So here's a quick synopsis of summer so far!

Aidan, Noah, and Becky all went to Xtreme Youth Camp in June. They had a great time and Becky survived dorm life with 60 junior high girls. (I think she came back very thankful she has boys).
Tucker & Cade thoroughly enjoy Backyard Bible Clubs while Aidan and Noah helped out. They didn't even notice it was so hot since they were having so much fun.
Aidan and Noah served in Mission McKinney. Aidan helped dig up posts at the McKinney Housing Authority while Noah cleared brush at a local horse therapy center.
Noah went to Arkansas as part of the Trailblazers Mission trip with a hundred other junior high students. He thoroughly enjoyed during yardwork and sharing his testimony on Sunday morning at the church he visited.
Tucker & Cade were ring-bearers in their cousin Jeremy's wedding to his new bride Lauren. (Jeremy was a ring-bearer at Becky and I's wedding 17 years ago). Aidan & Noah ushered, and Titus was quiet during the entire ceremony.
Our family vacation to Jacksonville, FL and Charleston, SC was full of fun and adventure (including car troubles in Mobile, AL and being pulled over in Meridian, MS because the rooftop carrier was bouncing.) We enjoyed the beach, our friends, good food, and good times. (And spent 4 days in the car together)
Paul delivered a keynote address at the Growing Families International Family Conference in Charleston. His 'Raising Daniels in a Technological Babylon' was well received and he's had the opportunity to deliver it several times in Ohio in August.
A second family vacation in August took us to Ohio to visit good friends (and escape the heat). The boys went 4-wheeling, corn-picking, cow-milking, and hay-tossing with friends.
From Ohio, Becky traveled to MI (with another car breakdown - same issue as in Mobile, AL) and is still in MI with her sister with the boys. She'll be attending the Life Action Ministries 40th Reunion this weekend. The boys have canoed, kayaked, picked grapes and peaches, been to the county fair, and shivered in the cooler weather.
Aidan took his first solo flight home from MI to start THEO (the Home Educators Outsource). He will be attending 2 days a week this semester.
Titus has been a super trouper with all the travel and sleeping arrangements this summer. Except for an ear infection, he has had a great summer. He LOVES being in the pool and LOVES the DVD player in the car (when it works). He is such a funny traveler and reaches over to grab Aidan or Noah if they are not paying attention to him.
Tucker & Cade have started 1st grade - and the beauty of homeschool is that when the books arrive in the middle of the summer, you can go ahead and start doing a few lessons on those hot summer days when it's too hot to go outside. They are enjoying being 1st graders.
Tucker is signed up to play flag football this fall. He cannot wait - and I will say, the boy can throw a perfect spiral.
Noah started football practice prior to going to Ohio - nothing like practicing in full pads when it's 105 outside. He will be playing 6-man football this year and can't wait. This year, he's not the tallest kid on the team (and I think that makes him a little more comfortable hitting people). My 5'8",180lb, size 11.5 shoe, 2nd boy son turned 13 this summer. We now have 2 teenagers in the house (and I"m enjoying the time now before they both start driving).
Tucker turned 7 in July - quite a milestone for my little charmer who is taking hours from my life with his exploits. Tucker is all boy and 'oh-boy' does he make life interesting.
Becky and I celebrated our 17th year of marriage right after I turned 50 this July. It's funny, I don't feel 50 years old, nor does it seem like we've been married for 17 years.
Our annual 4th of July trip to our friend's lake house in Cedar Creek is alway a highlight. Even with the water very, very, low, Noah still got his birthday morning jet-ski ride.
Aidan has learned to water-ski, along with his knee-boarding. And Tucker is also knee-boarding behind the boat - while I have learned that knee-boarding is not on my list of talents.
Vanessa, our night-time nurse for the last 3 years, moved to Atlanta. It was hard to see her go. We now have Ada (who makes Titus laugh everytime she walks in). God is good to bless Titus with great nurses. Ada stated the first night she was there as a temporary nurse to fill in - but she said by midnight the first night she had fallen in love with Titus and had to stay on and care for him.

In between all of that, we did our best to stay cool during the heat. As fun as it has all been, I think we are all ready for some schedule and routine with school starting. Titus will be attending school 5-days a week this year. I'm sure it will wear him out the first few weeks, but he really enjoys school. I think the biggest challenge will be getting him (or us) out the door at 7:20am this morning.

I told the boys this summer that I know traveling with Titus can be challenging. It's a lot of work to travel with a special needs child and all the equipment and oxygen. But Titus, like all my boys, is family. And as family, this is what we do. And I love that my boys never complain about the work and extra effort that it sometimes takes to travel with Titus. I want them to know, life is what you make of it, life is the opportunities you use that are presented with you, life is a choice to make the best of all situations, life is meant to be lived and experienced.

While driving to OH last week, we drove through Cincinnati - right past the Children's Hospital where we spent those critical days in Nov, 10. A part of me wanted to stop and shows them how Titus is doing. I wanted them to see a little boy who is happy, content, and with his family; not at home with a trach and vent. I wanted them to see a boy who is taking steps in his walker not confined to a bed. I wanted them to see a boy who can roll around the floor to get to the toys he wants, not a child tethered to a machine.

And then I realized, we never really know what life will be, but we do know the One who holds tomorrow.

On the Road Again

2011-07-10T21:39:00.000-05:00

As sure as I state I would post more often, I don't.

But, since I'm on vacation this week - and since I'm sitting in a hotel room in Mobile, Alabama on a little unexpected detour, I thought tonight would be as good as any. We are headed out to Jacksonvill, Florida to visit friends, before heading up to Charleston, SC for the Growing Families International Conference.

And while driving through Mobile today, we thought we would stop and see the USS Alabama battleship and give us a chance to stretch our legs. And, because life is always an adventure, the Suburban wouldn't start when we all got back in. We tried jumping it - but nothing. But, from some further investigation, it doesn't look like the battery (we replaced that on last summer's vacation in Indiana - on Labor Day). It could be a fuse, it could be the starter. But, since the DVD player went out an hour before - and the boys described a loud pop, I have a feeling a fuse or wiring might be askew.

And, yes, that's the DVD player we replaced this week that was still under warranty. The boys are going to have a real LONG trip if that's not fixed, but we did listen to the Chronicles of Narnia: The Horse and His Boy today.

Your prayers are appreciated - and as I told the boys, it's not the actions, but sometimes our reactions that are important. These things do happen - we just got to roll with it.

I should also mention, the weekend started with our trip to Waco to see our nephew Jeremy marry his bride, Lauren. The four oldest boys were in the wedding: Aidan and Noah ushering, Tucker and Cade ring-bearing. We drove down to Waco on Friday, but back in the hotel after rehearsal dinner, we noticed several important items for Titus missing, so I drove back to Dallas that night to pick them up. As I said, these things do happen.

Titus has been doing great! Even with all the traveling and being out of routine, he is a trouper. He is so flexible with different sleeping arrangements/spaces, and just rolls over and goes right to sleep - although at the moment, he's been fascinated with the texture on the wall and keeps stroking it, but he's about to nod off.

And, I'll be speaking at the Growing Families conference on Thursday morning - and then Becky and I will deliver a workshop with our dear friends, Mike & Jody on Thursday and Friday. We so love speaking with Mike and Jody - where else can you get to hear a choleric, sanguine, melancholy, and phlegmatic speak together. We don't even care if anyone shows up - the 4 of us will have a blast.

Will post more later (if I have internet capability).

Answered Prayers

2011-06-14T16:41:00.000-05:00

Titus evaluation under anesthetic went smoothly yesterday. His pressures are a little high but the doctor is not too concerned. But the overwhelming answer to prayer was that Titus came out from under the anesthesia quickly and with no problems. Within 2 hours, they were in the car and headed to the K's house.

Becky called this morning to say he had a "normal" night - which means the alarms went off a few times due to desat's, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Thanks so much for all the prayers.

I Know . . . I Know

2011-06-13T10:03:00.000-05:00

I know I stated in the last update that I would update more often since I hadn't in awhile.

But, after struggling with a virus on my computer, which led to a total re-build and new OS (and no laptop for a few days), and then a week of vacation (where I swore I would NOT be on my laptop), the weeks have flown by.

Here's a quick update of what all has gone on.

We took a small "staycation" before Memorial Day and spent a few days at Great Wolf Lodge here in town. Since the boys have finished their homeschool (but public schools were still in session), the water park at Great Wolf was not crowded. This meant we could ride all the slides as often as we wanted. It also meant we could climb the 6-7 stories of stairs without any stops as quickly as we could. For some reason, the boys don't seem to get winded climbing 6 flights of stairs 10 times in a row.

The next week, Aidan, Noah, and Becky left for Xtreme Camp with the church youth group. For the next 4 days, I only got scattered emails and 2 short phone calls that she sneaked in, but when I picked them up at midnight on Tuesday, all 3 were talking non-stop. They had a blast spiritually and physically. While they were gone, I kept Tucker, Cade, and Titus for the weekend, then Tucker and Cade went camping with MeeMaw and PeePaw (so they felt like they went to camp too). They had a great time - and Cade summed it up with the statement "We went hiking through the graveyard, but no one was there!"

That left me to care for Titus for 2 days. Although the nurse came at night, it was just him and me for a few days. We went to therapy, doctor's appt., to the store, etc. I realized going to the store takes more effort than I remember since you can't really push his stroller and a cart at the same time - so everything had to fit in a basket. It did make me realize all the work/effort Becky goes through every day with him while I am at work.

After a very busy weekend, Becky and the boys left this morning for Houston. Titus has an evaluation under anesthesia with his pediatric opthmalogist. Several months back, Titus had his annual appointment with the opthmalogist, but they could not get accurate pressures on his eyes while he was awake (and squirming) so this appointment is to go back and review that while he is under anesthesia. As a reminder, Titus had pediatric glaucoma and this doctor has done two surgeries on Titus' eyes when Titus was so young.

Our concerns are always with Titus going under anesthetic - what should be routine for most can take hours (and sometimes days) to get Titus back to normal. The last time we put Titus under was at Cincinnati Children's in December 09 for an evaluation and we ended up in the PICU for 4 days. Becky is prepared to stay at the hospital if needed, but we are praying that Titus is healthier/stronger now that it will just be a few hours today.

The boys will be staying with our friends in Lake Jackson - (you know, our friends with 5 kids - cause when you have 5, what's 5 more - right?) For them, this is their second summer vacation and they were so excited. (And Mike/Jody - as far as I know, Tucker did NOT sneak the rabbit in the car this morning, so need to worry about more baby rabbits being passed on from our household).

I'll update with more as I hear it.

Cupcakes

2011-05-10T16:59:00.000-05:00

I know . . . I know.

I haven't blogged much lately. I've been getting the comments from people, so I'll try to comply and be a bit more timely in my updates.

Last Friday, Titus made cupcakes for Becky for Mother's Day. But, the story behind the little cupcake that came home was quite humorous.

Many of Titus' toys are "switch" activated. This means, Titus will hit a type of switch (usually large and round) and the switch will activate a light/sound/fan. Titus learns how to work these toys pretty quickly at school.

His teacher, Ms. Lindsey, activated a switch to a blender for them to make cupcakes. Each of the 3 children took turns hitting the switch to turn the blender on and mix the cake batter. After the batter was mixed, Ms. Lindsey raised the beaters from the blender . . . and Titus reached over and hit the switch.

Yes (just like a Curious George episode) batter went flying over the room, over the teacher, over Titus. It just goes to show, you got to keep your eye on these visually-impaired kids. You never know what they are going to do.

Here's a few pictures of Becky with her incredible boys. She is an amazing mom and an incredible encourager to other Mom's. When you read this, please pray for her as she leads her GEMS group tonight.

Gloriously Ruined

2011-04-18T16:38:00.000-05:00

I love a good story.
I love a great blog.
And I love to see how God moves people in such a way that their life is never the same. The life of comfort and ease that they have grown accustomed to is changed . . . it's ruined . . . gloriously ruined.

Our family has several friends that have had their lives ruined forever. One family has just returned from South Africa where they served faithfully for the last 2 years at Ft. White. And another family just returned from Ethiopia where they were able to put "skin" on their dreams when they got to see their new daughter for the first time. And the other is a young single woman who is devoted her life to caring for orphans in Uganda - we've never met her, but her blog and story has moved us.

So for Philip and Becky, Eric and Laura, and Mandy, I write this for you.

You have been gloriously ruined. You will never take for granted a paved road, a stocked grocery store, consistent electricity, a full tank of gas (even at $4/gallon). You will never see life through the rose-colored, self-centered, materialistic lens that have become so comfortably ensconced on the faces of most Americans. You now realize that the pursuit of the "American Dream" is a bit useless when the rest of world has so little to call their very own. And when you look at people, you no longer see the color of their skin, but only the light in their eyes.

You now know that it doesn't matter how much dirt you can carry in on your shoes at the end of the day - cleanliness is NOT next to godliness, but godliness is wrapped in how willing we are to get dirty.

You have taught me that God moves in very mysterious ways. Sometimes that includes selling all you have to move to South Africa for several years; sometimes that means opening up your heart and home to child on the other side of the world; sometimes it means caring for children and babies with HIV and bringing home one more baby to care for when your house is already full.

You have been willing to put up discomfort, pain, financial difficulty, (home)sickness, and loss of all the comforts that I so easily enjoy. You have even had days without a consistent, high-speed connection to the internet. And yet, you survived, you persevered, you learned, and you have grown. And I would wager that the life and dreams you thought you had so gloriously planned for yourself (and family) has been ruined because you answered one simple question. You said "Yes" when God said "Go!"

You have taught me that life is meant to be ruined . . . gloriously ruined for the sake of following Christ and not following self.

Philip and Becky - I know you have left a part of your heart in South Africa. But the example you have shown of a family that is fully sold out to God has changed lives all over the world.

Eric and Laura - I eagerly anticipate the day that your beautiful daughter is in your arms forever.

Mandy - I have never met you, but your words/pictures and dedication to the orphans in Uganda breaks my heart every time. You are the hands and feet of Jesus in a world full of disease and poverty.

Thank you for reminding me that's what life is all about.

A Quiet Evening

2011-04-12T23:34:00.001-05:00

This is one of those busy months. It seems like we have something almost every night for the last week and coming up for the next few weeks. With Titus in the hospital last week, then the wedding over the weekend, this week was looking to be packed every evening.

But Becky re-arranged her GEMS meeting to next Tuesday so that we could have tonight off. . . just family . . . with nowhere we had to be. I left work earlyl to make sure I get home early enough to enjoy the evening (althougth I did have to stop at the bank and the dry cleaners). I walk in and dinner is out on the back porch - pork chops, rice, and broccoli were a perfect complement to the 78 degrees and nice evening. After dinner, I sat and held Titus while the kids played in the backyard.

After 30 minutes of nice conversation with my wife, we had just gotten up to begin clearing off the table when I hear those familiar sounds - a child's cry - the type of cry that means "I'm hurt", followed by another child immediately apologizing then saying "Tucker, run to dad NOW."

And as Tucker is running to me, I see the trickle of blood running down his face. I have him remove his hands and look at his eyebrow which has a nice gash and I knew - "yep- that's about 2 stitches worth".

I pick him up, take him to the bathroom while telling Becky to get prepared to take him to the ER (with specific instructions to take him to the one that takes our insurance and not the one who "says" they take our insurance, but their doctors who bill out through another agency do not.) I clean off Tucker's wound, put a rag with ice on it to for Tucker to hold there and then get Tucker to the car along with Noah. I stop for moment, hold him close, and pray in his ear for courage and strength to be brave. By now, the bleeding has stopped, but the gash is still pretty big.

Becky calls me on the way and questions "do we really need stitches, or can we just butterfly it and see how it goes?" to which I reply, "this is Tuck's 2nd trip to the ER for stitches in 6 months and at this rate, he's going to have the nickname Scarface by high school." Reason wins out, and off they go to Children's Legacy campus.

A few hours later, Tuck calls me to let me know he was brave and on his way home with 2 stitches.

And, that my friends, is a quiet evening in the Daily household.

Wedding Weekend

2011-04-10T11:04:00.000-05:00

Titus has been home for several days, and he is doing quite well. As in the past, as soon as we put Titus in the car at the hospital, he started smiling and babbling. And as soon as we walked into the house, he knew he was home and was so excited and happy to be home. Becky had arranged for nursing care to be there for the next 72 hours, and that has been a great help in letting Becky get some rest.

Tucker, Cade, and myself have also came down with the same virus as Titus has. Tucker and Cade keep running a fever off and on. I only had fever for a day, but now it's settled in my eyes and throat. It looks like I have pink eye and my throat is still pretty sore. So we've been a pretty sick lot around here.

But, it was also a wedding weekend. My oldest nephew, Nathan, married his lovely bride Bailey last night. I volunteered my 'floral' services to my sister for the rehearsal dinner on Friday night and spent most of Thursday/Friday getting things ready for that party. Thursday morning, my delivery of fresh roses, gerber daisy's, tulips, hydrangeas, and lily's arrived. The house smelled wonderful. Friday afternoon, everything was setup with enough votive candles to light a bonfire for a beautiful and tasty rehearsal dinner.

Saturday, we rested as much as we could, and then drove downtown for the wedding. As much as we wanted to take Titus, we knew it was best for him to stay home. All the boys got dressed up and Becky was smoking in her new blue dress. Tucker and Cade rallied enough to attend the wedding, but we sent them home prior to the reception. The reception was the Hickory Creek Annex, and old, converted warehouse downtown. We had an awesome bar-b-que catered by Eddie Dean and then watched as the dancing began - even Aidan and Noah (and my mother joined in). I have to admit - I have NEVER seen my sister or my mother dance.

And in 3 months, we get to do it again when Jeremy, our other nephew marries Lauren in Waco.

Nathan and Bailey - congratulations! It was a beautiful and fun weekend.

Home Again

2011-04-08T08:50:00.000-05:00

It was a very crazy and rushed day yesterday and I didn't get the chance to post. Titus was released to come from the hospital yesterday. By the time I was able to get down there, get Titus loaded up, and make it home, It was closer to 8pm.

Tucker, Cade, Noah, & Aidan were all so glad to see him. Quita was finally calm and has not left his side (or bed).

Tucker and Cade are still fighting the same fever that Titus had, and I have been fighting it the past few days. It's been a long time since I felt this miserable, so I can only imagine how Titus has felt over the last week.

We are so fortunate and loved. Becky has worked out 24X7 nursing care for the next few days at home.

And, it's also a wedding weekend! My oldest nephew, Nathan is marrying his beautiful bride, Bailey tomorrow. Everyone is resting up so that we can enjoy the celebration tomorrow. (I even gave Tucker dancing lessons with the reminder - "put your hand on her hip, not her thigh).

Medical City: Day 6

2011-04-05T23:17:00.000-05:00

Titus continues to make small strides of improvement, but he's just not quite there yet. His fever comes and goes, but he is much more alert like yesterday. I do believe he is getting board with the hospital and would much rather be back in therapy and school.

And because it's just never a dull moment around here, Tucker and Cade and myself are all running fever. Fortunately, Tucker & Cade have stronger immune systems and for now, it's just fever (and feeling lousy). And since it's viral, there's not much to do but rest.

Hi MOM!

2011-04-05T00:01:00.000-05:00

If you have met my boys, you know that each one of them have a distinctive personality. And I will admit, each of them make me laugh in their own way. Since the boys haven't seen their Mom too much over the last few days, and since Becky needs her boys, I taped a few videos of them.

And because they make me laugh, I just have to share them.
Here's Aidan and Noah . . .

And here's Tucker & Cade.

Medical City: Day 5

2011-04-04T23:47:00.000-05:00

Titus is on day 5 at the hospital (which is Monday by the way). My updates have been hitting later in the evening, so those who get the email update are getting news about a day behind.

Titus did have a better day. He was alert, awake, and more responsive today. He is still running a high fever off and on but his cough is getting better. Today, I was there for at least 45 minutes before he coughed - and considering he was coughing every few minutes, this is a huge improvement. They are still suctioning out some pretty thick gunk though (try not to be to graphic here, but as we know, all mucous is not the same - sometimes it's clear and runny and sometimes it's snot). They did do a deep lung suction this morning for a culture and to see if anything else has developed, but after 3 days of rocephin, any infections should be clearing up.

Since he has a double-whammy virus (as the doctors have named it), it has to run it's course. And, like most viruses, they have their own timetable. They have put Titus on a constant slow feed, so he's getting his nutrition and is tolerating it (unlike last week when he just wasn't digesting).

But, it was good today to walk in and see him awake, playing with his toys, and alert. You could tell he's feeling a bit better.

Thanks to all for the prayers, support, and food.

Medical City: Day 4

2011-04-03T19:57:00.000-05:00

Titus is making slow progress, but is showing some improvement. He still has a strong cough, but it's not as frequent. His oxygen has been turned down from 2 liters to 1 liter. And he has been tolerating small feeds today. By the end of the day, they have brought him back to full feeds to see how he is doing.

He is still running a fever off and on, but this is all just part of the virus. He is resting and getting some sleep, but you can tell he just doesn't feel good. Titus did give Becky a smile this morning, but he just isn't interested in playing with toys - he just wants to rest.

So, today was a quiet, restful day for him.

Meanwhile, today was Go and Be - our church's annual Sunday in which "the church leaves the building". We were involved in the Garage Giveaway this weekend. Aidan and Noah helped with unloading donations and setup on Friday and Saturday, and then today, Aidan and Noah left the house at 6:30am to help with setup and loading. I was up there yesterday with the boys and as I left, the thought that kept going through my head was "the church in action". This is what the church really is - not sitting in a building on Sundays, but out in the community serving. And, I am so proud of my boys learning to serve and make a difference in their world. They are developing a servant's heart. I love watching them serve, I love to serve them, and I love to see the church in the action.

Medical City: Day 3

2011-04-02T15:33:00.000-05:00

This is the 3rd down at Medical City. Titus has parainfluenza and adenovirus - a double whammy as the doctor describes it. In laymans terms, the flu and upper respiratory infection. His constant coughing is slowing down and he is only coughing every 5-10 minutes and not crying after each cough (that went on for 2 days).

Titus is on an IV to keep him hydrated and they are also giving him meds through the IV (rocephin - which is pretty high-powered). As the doctor said, rocephin should wipe out any infections he has going on, but since the flu/adenovirus are more viral, they have to run their course.

Becky is noticing a slight improvement each day - and starting yesterday, Titus was able to rest and sleep more. His fever is still intermittent, but at least he is more comfortable.

We anticipate he will be down at Medical City several more days. We know that he will need to be back down on his normal dose of oxygen and back to full, g-tube feeds before they let him go home - and we haven't even started that process yet.

We appreciate the prayers.

Back at Medical City

2011-03-31T23:14:00.000-05:00

Titus has been sick since last Friday. What started out as a small fever has turned into increase secretions and a non-stop hacking cough. Becky took him to the ER on Wednesday, but the doctor didn't admit him at that time. After another night of hacking and no sleep, Becky took him back to the pediatrician who admitted him to the hospital today.

What has been determined is that his blood work is showing an infection - but they aren't sure at this point if it's viral or bacterial. We will know more tomorrow. He was a bit dehydrated so an IV has been started and he is getting fluids - but that is also leading to an increase in secretions when he coughs. He is not getting a lot of sleep - maybe 30 minutes at a time.

Titus has never been a crying baby, but when he coughs, you can tell it hurts, and he begins to cry. It hurts my heart to hear it and there isn't much consoling him. I know the nurses have held/consoled him for the last few nights.

Becky is staying with him tonight at the hospital. We really want some guidance from the doctors and some direction on what they feel is wrong so the right course can be taken. We would appreciate your prayers for comfort, healing, and discernment for the medical staff treating him. I would also appreciate some prayers for Becky while she is staying with him. She isn't getting much rest.

Baby Steps

2011-03-23T22:11:00.000-05:00

Watch this video of Titus in his walker. You have to watch his feet carefully, but you will see how he works to pick up and move each foot. It is a blessing to have a gait trainer at home now so he can practice everyday instead of just twice a week.

So proud of my little man and how hard he works.

Fun at the Beach

2011-03-15T16:58:00.000-05:00

Dinner at Woody's

2011-03-14T10:33:00.001-05:00

This past weekend, we drove down to Lake Jackson, TX to visit friends and be in town for Titus' pediatric opthmalogist appointment on Monday. It's a good 6 hour drive with no traffic and we always plan to stop at Woody's which is exactly 1/2 way on our trip.

Woody's (exit 164 on I-45) is a hole-in-the-wall gas station and bar-b-que joint that also sells all manner of homemade jelly, pickled vegetables and candy. It's one of the those places where they just pile the meat on wax paper and sell it by the pound.

We got 1 pork chop, 1/2 lb of brisket, 3 ribs, plus the requisite beans, onions, pickles and sweet tea and sat down at the long picnic tables for our meal. As with any good bar-b-que place, you just got to eat with your hands which is why there are plenty of paper towels on each table.

As we are finishing the meal, Becky asked for some unsweet tea and some artificial sweetner.

Tucker handed Becky a basket of packets on the table and said, "Mom, here's some sugar packets".

To which Noah loudly replied in a loud, emphatic (but very innocent) voice, "NO, those are sanitary napkins!!!".

Becky quietly and gently stated "No, honey, those are moist toilettes" - of which I had to use several to clean up the tea I spurted out from laughing so hard.

And sweet Noah, he still has no idea what he said.

Open House

2011-03-08T22:08:00.000-06:00

Tonight was Open House at the Early Childhood School. And even though the boys all take turns going with Becky to drop off or pick up Titus at school, they haven't had the chance to visit the classroom. So the entire clan, plus my parents, showed up to visit his classroom and meet his teacher.

Titus classroom is so interactive. There is a huge light box that he can play in, a ball pit, large swing, and lots of toys that provide all sorts of visual or auditory or sensory stimulation. Titus teacher, Ms Lindsey, played a video of Titus at music class. He really loves the harpsichord and the drums.

Titus has 2 other students in his classroom in the morning along with 2 aides that assist the teacher and numerous therapists that are in and out during the day. And Titus LOVES school. From the moment we walked in the door, he was smiling and making noises. He knew where he was. And, we will admit - school for him has been more than we have ever imagined it would be. He comes home so tired, but his stamina to be alert during school has really improved (he does occassionally take a 15 minute cat nap during school).

Thank you Ms Lindsey for teaching, caring, and loving on Titus.

Good Eats

2011-03-06T20:50:00.000-06:00

Of the many different types of therapy Titus has on a weekly basis, feeding therapy is one of them. Since Titus was unable to take a bottle or nurse when born and due to the surgeries with his jaw and cleft palate, Titus has had to learn how to swallow. You might think that's one of those skills that is easy to learn, but it's truly a complex skill of learning how to take something in your mouth and use your tongue in the correct way to actually swallow something.

Over the years, the feeding therapists have worked with Titus to stimulate his mouth and tongue to do the correct actions. After all this work, he may only take a few bites - probably never more than 1 or 2 tablespoons.

So you can imagine how surprised we were when his teacher and therapist at school came out this week to tell us that Titus ate a whole jar of baby food - a WHOLE JAR! And then the next day at school, ate a whole mashed up banana. Now, he is gravitated to fruits (or sweet potatoes), but the fact he ate a whole jar at one sitting for our little boy is amazing. He hasn't done it for us at home yet - although I did get him to eat some peaches this weekend, but it's those baby steps of progress that we love to see.

And tomorrow is a long-awaited day in our household. Titus should have his gait trainer delivered to the house. This will allow him to practice his walking everyday.

I realize I haven't posted much lately. But there are lots of little things and improvements going on. We are blessed.

Mr. Titus Goes to Austin

2011-02-15T09:41:00.000-06:00

Becky, her mom, and the boys got back home around 9:45pm last night. I haven't received a full report, but here's what I know.

On Sunday, after Becky decided to go, it was a furious display of activity while everyone prepared. Aidan, Tucker, and Cade washed the Suburban after they had packed their bags. Becky "fretted" a bit about what to wear and finally settled on her combination of clothing and jewelry (had to show a little bling). Meanwhile, I worked on finding them a hotel that was reasonable in cost/distance from the capitol.

Once all were packed, they took off around 4:30pm on Sunday - arriving at 9pm in Austin. Upon arrival, Becky discovered her luggage was missing and in fact, still sitting in the master bathroom. She looked up and the "promised land" was across the street (Target) and was still open. She and Aidan made a very quick shopping trip where she purchased the basics (and the "heaviest earrings ever" which kept falling off.)

While she was traveling, she asked me to write up the testimony to present since a written copy is generallly left behind. I worked on that and Becky edited upon arrival.

On Monday, Becky had to be at the hearing room by 7am to sign-up to testify. After enrolling, Becky, her mom, and all 5 boys then showed up at 9:30am for the hearing and testimonies. Becky wasn't called up to testify around 11am. (And yes - that means all the boys were occupied during the two hours to wait).

Becky was able to speak to how services provided from the state of TX through various programs dealing with Deaf / Blind children have been incredibly beneficial for Titus. She pleaded with them to not cut funding for these programs since they are vital to the health and quality of life for Titus and other deaf/blind children.

After her testimony, and on the way to lunch, they caught a glimpse of Governor Rick Perry, saw the Pony Express ride up to the capitol to present a proclamation, and Tucker climbed the rail next to a very rare painting and gave the security guard a heart attack (I'm sure he won't do that again).

During the afternoon, Becky had the opportunity to also testify at another hearing or go visit the Texas School for the Blind - and honestly - this is where my update ends. I'm not sure which she decided to do and the next quick call I got was that they were headed out on the road to come home. They got home last night around 9:45pm - all quite exhausted except for Titus who was ready to play since he was out of the car seat. I took care of getting Titus to bed and as I was finishing up, the night nurse showed up, and it was lights out for the rest of us.

Becky has pictures and more to say - but I'll have to get that from her tonight.

Thanks for all your prayers. I know some people thought we were absolutely crazy to drop and go like that, but we are learning that if we are not an advocate for Titus, no one else will be. And, it's also about obedience. When you hear the call, you have a choice. You can sit around and discuss/debate about it for hours/days/weeks (and possibly miss the opportunity) or blindly obey and receive the blessing.

Testify!

2011-02-13T15:17:00.000-06:00

While sitting at lunch after church today, Becky looked at me and said "Don't think I'm crazy, but I just got an email and they need families to speak at the Tx House of Representatives Appropriations Committee tomorrow as they review budgets for deaf/blind children. Can I take the boys and go?"

And I said "sure - what a great opportunity".

And that's our life in a nutshell - you got to be flexible when opportunities come up.

And I know my mom is thinking "See - all those times I told you to "play it by ear" are now paying off."

The boys are excited to stay in a hotel. Becky and I are excited that they will get to see the state government at work. But most of all, I'm excited that my wife will get the opportunity to be an advocate - not just for Titus, but for all the kids in TX that have disabilities. There are approx. 700 kids in the TX school system that are deaf/blind. And we are very fortunate to live in Dallas where we receive great services from the Division of Blind Services and other related agencies. And, as you have heard, the TX state budget is looking at a $10 billion shortfall. There are numerous places they are looking to trim the budget - education being one of the biggest targets.

Our prayer is that Becky will represent our family and all families who live with a child with special needs and receive services offered from the state. These services are vital to the life and education of our children. So join me in praying for her tomorrow as she shows up at 7am to be part of the open testimony period.

(Right now, she's more worried about what to wear than what to say - you know my Beck - never at a loss of words, but she keeps asking me "what does one wear to an appropriations committee meeting?"

Down to Me

2011-02-03T16:11:00.000-06:00

Last weekend, with all the boys sick, Becky and I were thankful that we had not caught anything. But last night, the stomach virus hit Becky. As you can imagine, I am now paranoid that I am the only one remaining who has not gotten sick.

I've yet to understand why stomach virus's wait to hit till 10pm at night. And I swear this virus has a timer that goes off every hour for 4-5 hours. Poor Beck - we have been keeping her in bed today and making sure she gets her rest.

Titus is slowly improving, but still has a hacky cough and secretions. As soon as I say his fever goes away, he starts a small fever. So, I'll just say, he's making improvement.

We are now going on our 3rd day of being house-bound due to the icy roads and below-freezing temps. It has not gotten any where close to above freezing since Tuesday morning. And now they are saying there's a possibility of snow tomorrow before the temps rise for the weekend.

My theory is that Dallas is doing everything they possible can to keep the Green Bay Packers feeling "at home" with the cold temps. But yesterday, it was actually to cold for even the Packers to practice outside. So they used the Highland Park High School indoor stadium for practice. (And for those outside of Texas - yes, we have High Schools that have indoor football practice facilities.)

Thanks for the prayers and concern.

And - GO PACKERS!

Brrrr - It is COLD!

2011-02-01T18:53:00.000-06:00

If you are in the USA, then you know we are experiencing quite a winter. And right now, it's 13 degrees in Dallas and I have several inches of ice covering my driveway (and all the roads) with a light dusting of snow. And, it's not suppose to be above freezing for the next few days.

Let's just say, it's really putting a damper on the Super Bowl events planned all over the city this week. But, should be all warmed up by the weekend. But at least, it's keeping the Packers acclimated so they are ready to beat the Steelers on Sunday.

A quick update on all the illness - Cade is still running a fever, Noah and Aidan are still coughing, and Titus is still hacking/coughing with thick congestion, but he's not running a fever. With the ice tonight, our night nurse has cancelled. If we can just get everyone to stop coughing, they will all get to sleep.

5 for 5

2011-01-31T10:43:00.001-06:00

We hit a new household record this weekend - all 5 boys were sick.

It started Friday with Cade dragging a bit and by Friday night, Tucker was feeling "tired". Saturday morning, Aidan came down for breakfast and looked like death warmed over. Titus had a very low, low fever, but was feeling fine. So, we just kept things quiet around the house and let people rest. Tucker and Noah played in the backyard some making practice swords (since it was an incredible 75 degrees). And, Aidan felt good enough to go to Robin Hood practice - big mistake.

Saturday evening rolls around and things began to hop. Titus' fever goes up and Noah starts to feel ill. And then Noah and Titus decided to take things to the next level. As soon as we were headed to bed, Noah decides it was time - and he began to throw-up every hour, on the hour for the next several hours. I will say, I'm proud of my boy - he made it to the bathroom each time, and he can definitely barf louder than me.

At the same time, Titus fever is going up. We always know when Titus has a fever, because his heart rate will go up - especially when sleeping. His heart rate was over 150 and he was trying to retch. When Titus was a few months old, he had surger for a nissen - which means a fold in his stomach which prevents him from reflux - but also prevents him from throwing up. But that doesn't mean the impulse a body has to eject is stifled, so we could tell the poor little thing needed to get things "out" of his stomach. Fortunately with the g-tube, we could hook up and empty his stomach out. But, the heart rate was concerning so after consulting the NurseLine, Becky decided a trip to the ER would be best.

As Becky was driving Titus to the ER, he began retching and needed to be suctioned and have his stomach emptied out. Becky didn't even pull over she stopped the car, called 911 and got in the backseat to take care of Titus and wait for the ambulance. Now, it's a bit confusing to an EMT to be looking for a car parked in the middle of the road and Becky could see them cruising the parking lot for her, but she got their attention. They put Titus (carseat and all) in the ambulance and took off with Becky following.

The good thing about showing up in the ER at Medical City Dallas is that they know Titus very well. Within minutes he was in a room and nurses/RT's from past visits were showing up to visit and check on our little guy. He tested negative for the flu, but they gave him some nauseau medicine to help with the retching and within minutes, he was asleep. Becky and Titus were back home by 3am (around the same time that Noah stopped throwing up). By 4am, we were all back in bed and everyone had a few hours of good sleep.

None of the boys felt good on Sunday, so we divided and conquered. Aidan stayed in the media room and watched the Pirates of the Carribean trilogy. Tucker and Cade holed up in the master bedroom and watched Veggie Tales and Toy Story (1/2 in spanish - for some reason, they love the spanish version). And Noah didn't leave the living room sofa for 10 hours while he watched Little House on the Prairie reruns. (boy, that Nellie Olsen is annoying). Titus slept a good portion of the day, but was just not a happy camper.

Becky and I worked to keep everyone hydrated and medicated - and even through it all, I managed to clean out the foyer, polish the door, and repair the broken sofa in the living room.

And we were so blessed to have friends bring us food and gatorade (thank you Mike & Leslie).

As of Monday morning, the boys seemed to be making a little progress. Titus was happy and laughing this morning when I left for work. Cade seemed ok, while Tucker was still complaining his head hurt. Aidan was up and Noah was still in bed. And at this point, Becky and I seem to be ok - tired, but not sick.

Thanks for the prayers.

UPDATE: Becky is taking Titus to the doctor for a look-see this afternoon. He's a little more congested but not running fever and we haven't returned him to a full feeding schedule yet since we want to be sure the "retching" is done with. And, with the winter storm that is to hit Dallas tonight, we would rather have him checked out today in the event we are iced in tomorrow.

Donors Choose

2011-01-26T10:44:00.000-06:00

Becky and I would like to share with you a special website and a way you can make a direct impact on Titus (and his classroom).

As I mentioned in my last post, Titus is a student in Frisco's Early Childhood School. He is in an Active Learning Classroom which means there are numerous items, toys, tools, therapy equipment to help the kids in the classroom learn. This isn't your average classroom by far.

But, as you can also imagine, the costs for all these supplies and equipment is not cheap. We know this first-hand since the toys/equipment for Titus at the house can be quite costly.

Ms. Lindsey, Titus' teacher, has a website where people can donate to the projects she has planned for her classroom. And, you can also see completed projects (with pictures of the kids). In fact, if you look now, you will see Titus and his classmates enjoying the finger painting which was a project funded by DonorsChoose.

Please have a peek at what Ms. Lindsey is planning and if you feel led, you can also have a part!

http://www.donorschoose.org/ellington

Finger Painting

2011-01-23T21:13:00.000-06:00

Titus has been enjoying school. He's in the Early Childhood School (ECS) and is in an Active Learning Classroom (ALC). This past week, we had our Admission/Review/Dismissal (ARD) meeting to discuss his Individual Education Plan (IEP). By the time it was over, I felt I had learned more acronyms that when I worked at EDS. Let's just say, it's a whole 'nother language.

But, we were very pleased with our ARD meeting and the goals/objectives and schedule for Titus. His teacher, along with all the therapist at school, have developed a plan to continue providing Titus with therapy during the school day.

And last Friday, Titus got to finger paint. I think you can tell by the pictures he really enjoyed it! And, he didn't get a drop of paint on him. I'm sure if we had tried this at home, paint would have been everywhere.

And, the lady in picture with Titus is Ms. Lindsey - his teacher. She is a very gifted, patient, and talented instructor with a heart for her kids. We are thankful for her.

Tis the Season

2010-12-31T16:30:00.000-06:00

The past few weeks have been fast and furious with the Christmas Season.

December started with Aidan and Noah finishing up multiple performances of 'The Wizard of Oz' at the McKinney Performing Arts Center. The same week Aidan and Noah were also working at the church on setup for Christmas Journey. I know for some it seems very odd that we would drop a 12 and 13 yr old off at the church and let the staff direct them most of the day without any parental supervision. But, I trust my boys are hard-workers and I know they are diligent in the tasks they are given. Plus, I trust the staff knows just how to keep them busy (and they did). They had a blast up there working with the men on the final details of setup. And then Aidan worked 'behind-the-scenes' each night assisting the staff wherever they needed help. He learned a ton of what it takes to put on such a big production. And along the way even learned that sheep are flammable. I have to say thanks to the Music Staff at FBC McKinney for investing in my boys.

At the same time that was going on, we went "live" with North America HR Advisory Services at work. My team now provides centralized HR support for all of North America. We have been working on the HR Transformation for the past year and the first two weeks of December covered many major deliverables at work. Although we have had a few technological hiccups, I'm please to say things are going well and I have an incredible team of professionals who are plugging away at making sure we deliver outstanding customer service.

Tucker and Cade have marveled at all that the Christmas season brings. They loved taking the hayride through Christmas Journey. They even wrote their own bedtime story and told me the story of Mary and Joseph one night (with just a few biblical inaccuracies). But the sweetest moment was Tucker and Cade narrating the Christmas Story on Christmas Eve for the family. They practiced and rehearsed and then delivered a flawless reading of the story.

Titus has loved the lights of Christmas. We put his playmate in front of the Christmas Tree in the Foyer and before we know it, he has generally rolled himself under the tree and is reaching for the lights. As with most 3 year olds, he loved tearing open the paper more than the present inside. It has been a blessing to have him so healthy this month. I couldn't help but think of this time last year when he was in the PICU in Cinncinnati Children's and we thought we would never get home for Christmas. And three years ago, I still remember spending his first Christmas in the NICU. We are thankful and blessed for his health. We never take it for granted. And, how fun it's been for Titus to come home from school with small projects that he has done. It's the little things like a child's handprint or finger painted that every kid has done at that age. But it seems that with special need kids, those are the little things we miss. On his last day at school, he came home with a Christmas ornament that was made at school (I'm sure with lots of teacher's help). I have to say, it was the most beautiful ornament on our tree this year.

This week we are hanging out at the house and "trying" to relax. Aidan, Noah, and I had a Lord of the Rings Movie Marathon on one of rainy days. We started at 2pm and at 10:30pm we stopped (with two more hours to go). I had forgotten that the Special Editions are about 3 1/2 to 4 hours long. Becky kept us fed with Sonic burgers and brownies while we were holed up. Plus, such a great movie with such a great recurring theme and Christian analogy- "there is always hope".

Along the way, we have had great fun at several caroling parties. Our dear friends have always had a family caroling party at their beautiful home in historic McKinney. It is so much fun to walk down the tree-lined street, stopping at each house and singing. Tucker & Cade's speech therapists lives at one of the houses we stopped at - and she had several of her girlfriends over since she knew we were coming by. We love these family parties where we get to celebrate the season together with good friends. And our other friends take us on a hayride through their neighborhood where we sing our little hearts out and then go back for incredible food.

Last night we had a family party for my two nephews and their fiances and their parents. We are thankful for the beautiful young women that God has brought into Nathan and Jer's life and what a joy it was to meet their parents and enjoy a relaxed time (away from all the wedding planning). We look forward to Bailey and Lauren joining the family.

And tonight we celebrate New Year's Eve with good friends. For the last 10 years we have gotten together for dinner and a movie. Of course, 10 years ago, we just put the kids to bed and stayed up late. Now, the kids want to stay up late and watch their own movie (and we are falling asleep on the couch). And tomorrow will continue our New Years Day tradition and go to the movies with another couple (going on 16 years now) - Can you say we love traditions!

As I look back over 2010, it's been quite a year. I'm thankful for my family. It's a joy and privilege to be Becky's husband and the father to Aidan, Noah, Tucker, Cade, & Titus. It's a blessing to watch them grow (physically and spiritually). Titus has had a great year healthwise and is making great strides in therapy and school. It's been a year of incredible blessing and grace - from being told my job was being moved to India to now leading an incredible team at the same company with more responsiblity.

And as always we are humbled and blessed for friends who continue to pray for us and Titus, who bless us with cards and notes on a weekly basis, who share our good times and our hardships. We are blessed.

Christmas Card - 2nd Attempt

2010-12-16T15:10:00.000-06:00

My attempt of having Shutterfly update Facebook and Blogger didn't work out as well as planned - and no one was able to open the card.

So, this should be something similar to what you should have seen.

Here's the Daily boys wishing you Joy and Magic through the Holidays!

Aidan - 13 yrs - Learning to Serve the World, Meeting Needs where he can.

Noah - 12 yrs - Mischief and Tenderness wrapped up in 160lbs of boy.

Tucker - 6yrs - All Boy, All Energy, All the Time.

Cade - 6 yrs - Faithfully devoted, Fiery Foot-stomper.

Titus - Ever Growing, Ever Learning, Ever Content.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Card 2010

2010-12-15T14:44:00.001-06:00

Joy Sage Story Christmas 5x7 folded card

Create unique Christmas cards with Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Look at Me!

2010-12-06T14:17:00.000-06:00

I love this photo of Titus - just hanging out in his bed.

Titus spends so much more time these days sitting up. His trunk muscles are strengthening and it's amazing to see how he can support himself when put in a sitting position. He is not to the point where he can get to a sitting position without help, but he is working on it. Last night, he was basically doing stomach crunches - his whole upper body was arching up - and his feet were also coming up. The best way to imagine it is to imagine lying flat on your back and then raising your self up to a "V" position - that is what he's doing!

And, when playing on the floor, he is working to get his knees under his body and his arms out in front of him. He is trying to hard to push himself along. It still may take awhile, but my little boy is going to crawl one of these days!

Titus is exploring more and more of his world. His little personality shines through in a new situation and after a few minutes, you can see him relax, the hands open up and he starts to wave his hands in front of him, locating things to grasp and play with. He is exploring his world with his hands more and more. I love to watch him play. Like any toddler, he has his favorite toys and activities. And like any toddler, can throw a fit when he has to stop playing with them and he's not ready to. I know this is a training issue, but it makes me laugh to hear him throw a little hissy-fit when it's time to stop playing and move to the next activity. He IS communicating with us and letting us know exactly how he feels.

Titus is loving Christmas - especially all the lights. He will reach out and try to grab the tree or anything that is shiny - and there's plenty of shiny around the house right now! The tree in the foyer is his favorite. You can see his blue mat on the floor next to the tree. If we let him, he would play there all day long!

Merry Christmas!

Play Time with Brothers

2010-11-30T09:26:00.000-06:00

Titus is feeling better although Tucker still has an on-again/off-again fever. But last night, the boys were in a rare mood playing with each other. It is so sweet to see the special love and bond each boy has with Titus.

Running Fever

2010-11-28T21:54:00.001-06:00

Titus started running a fever last night. The good thing is, his breathing is ok. He sounds a bit congested, but not a whole lot to suction out. But the fever has been high and poor guy has been just miserable. Titus is not one to cry a lot, but today, he just cried and moaned. We have got the fever down and he's been his happy self for a few hours - stayed awake and laughed through Beauty and the Beast (and so did Tucker and Cade - so glad they re-issue these DVD's every few years). But we are getting him ready for bed and his fever has gone up a bit and he is cranky. It could be a very long night.

Thanksgiving was fun for the family - a very relaxing day spent with family. Our friends, the "K's" from Lake Jackson came up to spend 2 days and we all had fun together - everyone should experience the joy of 10 kids in the house. Between all of them, we only had one busted lip (from baseball), and one bruised toe (from falling off the scooter while walking the dog).

Thanks for the prayers and notes. We are so thankful during this holiday season.

MONDAY UPDATE: Titus' fever is gone, but Tuck's remains.

Hey Buddy

2010-11-23T16:37:00.000-06:00

Last night, the 4 oldest went camping. Becky called me to ask I wanted to meet her at Tin Star for $2/taco night. Of course, I said yes - I'm not going to pass up date night (or tacos).

While sitting in the restaurant with Titus in his new stroller, a man carrying a 9-month old, came up and said to Titus "Hey, Buddy".

He then got down on one knee and talked to Titus and introduced his little boy to him.

Can I tell you how much that meant to Becky and I?

We are learning that most people don't look a child in a wheelchair - or if they look at a child with obvious significant needs they may stare or turn away. But very rarely will they ever get on the child's level and speak to him. It warmed our heart that this complete stranger would take the time to do this - and not only speak to Titus, but show his young child how to acknowledge him.

As the man and his family left the restaurant that evening, they stopped by and talked to Titus again. And it made our evening complete.

BTW, Titus had pictures taken at the cranio-facial doctor's office several weeks ago. It's slightly ironic that some of the best pictures taken of him are at the doctor's office, but I had to show off his sweet smile.

Article on Titus on Baylor Our Children's House

2010-11-18T14:56:00.000-06:00

Upon learning about two-and-a-half-year old Titus Daily’s many medical conditions, it was tempting even for his parents, Becky and Paul, to think that the situation might be hopeless – that their fifth son would never be able to function in any meaningful capacity.

However, the care Titus’ has received at Our Children’s House at Baylor in Allen (OCH Allen) has ensured that his case is anything but hopeless.
A Rocky Start

Many special needs children are diagnosed in utero, giving families time to prepare themselves for the hardships to come. But Titus Daily’s medical complications didn’t begin to manifest until moments after birth.

“When he was born, he wasn’t breathing, and they were having trouble intubating him,” explains Becky Daily. “That’s when we first discovered something was wrong.”

It didn’t take long for the medical team to diagnose Titus with micronagthia – his jaw was pushed back, blocking his airway.

Over the course of the following months, Titus also was diagnosed with: cleft palate; ASD/VSD (a heart condition); a single, horseshoe-shaped kidney; profound deafness; glaucoma; malformed optic nerve; hemi-vertebrae (extra spinal bone causing scoliosis); low muscle tone; feeding problems; Dandy-Walker variant (a brain malformation); and the list goes on.

Finding a Good Fit

Titus was only weeks old, but it was already clear that he’d need a lifetime of intense therapy. The Daily’s didn’t know where to turn.

“Some of the nurses in the NICU were the first ones to mention OCH to us. They just kept saying it was a great place,” says Becky.

The recommendation was high praise from nurses who worked for a Baylor competitor.

“When we went to Baylor Our Children’s House, it was like someone threw us a lifeline. I finally felt like we were somewhere where the people weren’t so surprised to see him,” Becky continues. “The staff wasn’t astonished by him. They’ve seen it all before. It’s really a place where families and kids like Titus go and can feel normal there.”

Cause for Hope

Titus was eight months old when he began receiving therapy at OCH Allen. Becky still fondly remembers the initial evaluation process.

“There was so much he couldn’t do, but they were able to begin to do things with him, and he didn’t scream or cry. I was just touched by the way they cared and treated him like a normal child and not just someone who couldn’t hear or see.”

Titus has been at OCH Allen for two years, where he receives occupational therapy, feeding therapy and his favorite, physical therapy. He loves working with his PT specialist and looking up and giving her a big grin whenever he accomplishes something that probably wouldn’t have been possible without the OCH team.

And he has accomplished a lot. He can roll over, prop himself up on his elbows, lift his head and eat pudding.

However, his biggest achievement may be yet to come. Titus is now working with a gait trainer during physical therapy, which could lead to a giant step – literally.

“There is the possibility that he’ll walk,” says Becky, “and I never dreamed that he’d be able to walk.”

Beyond the onsite therapy Titus receives, OCH Allen has educated the Daily’s on how to work with him at home, and even took care of ordering the special equipment he needs. Parental and family involvement is a cornerstone of every OCH child’s care plan.

“OCH has given us hope. They’ve given us a direction and a plan and things we can work towards.”

My First Day of School

2010-11-16T12:27:00.000-06:00

My First Day of School

by Titus Daily

Today, I went to school for the first time. I have been to lots of therapy sessions, but this was different.

My mom and dad kept squeezing me and kissing me all morning and telling me it would be great. Mom drove me to school and dropped me off with my stroller with the teacher. The teacher took me to my new classroom. There are 2 other kids in my classroom. There are also 2 teacher's aides. They were all very nice to me. They sang us a song about coming to school, then read us a story. The put the books very close to my face so I could see and feel the book.

Mom showed up by then with some of my supplies and showed the teachers and nurses how to change my oxygen tank.

I then got to go to the outdoor playground. That was FUN! The teacher took me up into the little fort and let me spin the spindles, and then the teacher and I slid down the slide. I have never been on a slide before. I liked it.

We also went to the indoor play room, and I go to swing on the pommel horse. That is one of my favorite activities. And Miss Melinda, my vision therapist who has come to the house, was also there to see me. It made me feel good having a familiar person there.

Before I knew it, mom, Aidan, and Noah were there to pick me up and take me home. And, I was pretty tired. In fact, I fell asleep at the table.

I think I am really going to like my teacher and my school. I go back on Wednesday and Friday! But, I need to work on my endurance. I don't want to fall asleep in class when there is so much to do.

That's all for now. I gotta get ready to go to On The Border to celebrate my birthday and PeePaw's birthday!
Titus B

A note from Titus' Mom and Dad,
Thank you for all the prayers and notes of encouragement. We are thrilled and know that Titus will be in a place that will challenge him, teach him, and provide him new experiences. Our next big hurdle will be the day he starts riding the bus to school, but for now, we are content taking him and picking him up.

Here's a pic last night of Titus with Meemaw celebrating birthdays! He took a VERY long nap after coming home from school, but then was a 'live wire' at dinner and after we came home. At 10pm, he finally settled down and went to sleep.

Happy Birthday Titus

2010-11-14T22:12:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe, but today is Titus' 3rd birthday. My baby boy is growing up.

Titus has had quite a week. On Thursday, he was the 'model' for a meeting of Physical Therapists on how to fit a child to a wheelchair. Titus charmed them all with his pleasant personality and smile. And Becky got to speak/share her heart with approx 150 PT's from around the area.

But, in another group meeting last week, Becky met a lady in Frisco whose child had outgrown their stroller - and she brought if over this week for Titus to use. What a blessing to have a stroller for Titus to ride in - There's an attachment for the house that allows us to raise/lower him at the table or surroundings and another attachment for a stroller out in public. This chair allows him to sit up better and holds him in place better which also works those trunk muscles.

And tomorrow, Titus starts Early Childhood School. Now that he is three, the at-home services we have received from Early Childhood Intervention stop and he will receive those services at school. It was an emotional time since some of therapists that have seen Titus for the last several years will no longer be seeing him in our home. All of us have grown to appreciate these sweet ladies who have worked with Titus so diligently while also seeing the craziness that makes up our household. They have been a blessing to all our boys and to Becky.

Titus will start school for 3 hours a day, 3 times a week. He can work up to 5 days a week as he gets older, but right now, we feel the private therapy he is getting on Tuesday and Thursdays is great for him and our therapists at Baylor Our Children's House know him so well (and he has made SO much progress). Titus will be in a classroom with 2 other children, 1 teacher, and 2 aides. The classroom is full of wonderful developmental toys and stations. I know Titus is going to have a lot of fun, I know he will be taken care of, and I know that this is the best thing for him. It's just . . . he's my precious little boy. Becky and I can't imagine him away from the house 3 hours a day.

So on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays', you can say a prayer for Titus (and us) as he starts school.

My precious little one, you have been so blessed this year. It's been your healthiest year yet and you've grown by leaps and bounds. You are making strides and showing me what true endurance is all about. Your laugh makes my day, your smile melts my heart, and your slobbery kisses are your way of letting me know you love me. I love you dearly.

Orphan Sunday

2010-11-08T16:18:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday, our church emphasized Orphan Sunday. Becky and I were asked, along with the boys, to share in KidzWorship about our story of adoption.

Saturday night at dinner, we were talking with the family about what we were going to say. I looked at Cade and told him, 'We are going to talk about adopting you'.

To which Cade thought a moment, then looked up at me and stated, "I thought I already was adopted?"

That boy - he takes everything SO literally.
So I corrected myself and told him -"We are going to talk about WHEN we adopted you!"

Now, I can talk about adoption and how it's changed our life all day. But to talk to 1st thru 5th graders about adoption, I realized I had to use language and tell the story in a way that they would understand. And, I really wanted to include Aidan and Noah and let them share their view.

And, we had a great time. It was fun to share as a family and heartwarming to hear Aidan and Noah talk about the affect it has had on their lives. And, my prayer is that out of the several hundred kids who heard us talk, the seed was planted in their hearts that some day they will expand their own families through adoption. And they will realize that being part of family doesn't mean that they all have to look alike or have the same DNA, but that God puts families together in all sorts of ways and with all sorts of colors.

Little Cowboy

2010-11-05T14:05:00.000-05:00

Texas Born! Texas Proud!

Can you believe he's 3 in less than 2 weeks!

Why Not!

2010-10-29T13:33:00.001-05:00

I will get this out of the way upfront. This is one of my "soapbox" blogs. But it's been eating at me for several months now and I need write it down.

We have often heard it asked "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?" Books have been written about it, pastors have preached about it, and the world generally uses it as a poor philosphy to state that God is not loving.

Let's get it straight - life is not fair. We tell it to our kids all the time. Generally it's in a whining moment when we look at them at say "Get over it . . . life's not fair." But somewhere from the transition of childhood to adulthood we tend to forget that fact when more tragic events happen around us. We may not say it outloud, but down deep, if we truly think about it, our responses and statements to others when bad things happen come down to the base premise that says "you poor thing, you've been treated so unfairly, God is just not being fair with you since you are having to go through this burden".

Statements like "I'm so sorry for your loss, your child was taken so young", "It's not right you have cancer, you're such a good person", or "You didn't deserve this, what a horrible thing to happen to you."

Seriously! . . . SERIOUSLY ?. . . what are you really saying? (and let me tell you that being on the receiving end of such comments provides absolutely no comfort.) Are you saying that God is not in control of the situation? Are you saying that people are too good for anything bad to happen?

This past summer, in the middle of a worship service, the worship leader suddenly launched into a series of statements about tragic events that had happened in the life of people in the room. And he stated, 'Why would God allow a child like Titus who was born with so many physical defects be given to the Daily's?"

I almost puked.

So, I'm going to pull no punches and cut to the point.

The question is not WHY did God allow, but WHY NOT? Doesn't the Bible state in James 1 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

And what is a trial? It's something that is difficult to go through. It hurts, it's tiring, it's long, it's tedious, it's painful, it has an affect on not just you but your relationships. But it has a purpose. It's a test of faith so that you may grow, mature, complete, and have joy. So WHY NOT? Why would God rob me of the opportunity to learn those things. The question is - do you see a the bad things that happen in your life as trials to go through to perfect the work of God in your life? Or do you see them as a inconvenience that God has cursed you with that you have to endure (but are certainly not happy about). It's all about perspective.

And let me address Titus specifically.

Psalms 139 13:16 states
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

See, no where does it state that I (or Titus) was made perfect or wonderful in the eyes of man, but in the eyes of God. God created Titus exactly the way HE wanted him to be and then developed a complete plan for his life.

Did God design Titus the way I would have? No - but nowhere in the Bible do I read that my selfish will prevails in tweaking God's design.

Has God planned a life for Titus that I would have planned? The answer would be YES if I truly believe what I have always prayed. And that is that I have always prayed that each of my boys would be obedient to God's voice, be a blessing to others, and have an impact for God in the world they live in. And without a doubt, I can say that Titus has had more of a far-reaching impact than I ever would have dreamed. His life and story has gone around the world. We have had a chance to minister to people because of Titus. And if you have ever met him, you know how pleasantly content he is.

Why did God place Titus in our family? So I will learn to love life and cherish every moment; so that I will look at all children, but especially those with special needs, with compassion; so that I will know that parents of children with special needs are unsung heroes who tirelessly serve the needs of their children above the needs of themselves; so that I will see beautiful design of God in the body of my child; so that I will appreciate the incredible servant that I am married to; so that my other children will learn that life is about serving others and not serving themselves.

And I live with the truth in 2 Corinthians that states 'our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.'

Ok - it's now off my chest. I'll put the soapbox back in the closet.

Strollers, Wheelchairs, and Carseats - OH MY!

2010-10-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Becky, Titus and I went down to begin the process of ordering Titus a new stroller. The Bugaboo Frog stroller that we have used has been fantastic (and it should be for the price). It has served us well with Tucker and Titus, but Titus is now getting so big that his feet are hanging off the edge - and he needs more trunk support. Plus, with school looming, he needed a better tool for transport.

Becky has spent hours researching different strollers and the sales rep had several there for us to look at. But since we are looking for a something that will be usable for the next 5 years, it became more apparent that Titus needed a wheelchair more than a stroller. We will go back for another appointment to review wheelchairs - I never knew there were SO many options. And at the same time, he's getting to the point that the car seat will be too small soon, and we needed to look at specialty car seats.

So, we are in the process over the next few months of getting a stroller, wheelchair, and car seat ordered.

And, of course, this opens up a new world of looking at access for Titus. Do we have room to transport a wheelchair or do we find a different vehicle that can be modified since the wheelchair will have tie-downs. And, how do we continue to keep the entire family in one car instead of having to take two cars. And, is the house wheelchair accessible - are the doors/hallways wide enough, how/when will modify his bathroom when the time comes, how can we modify the house to provide a better therapy room.

It's easy to get overwhelmed when looking at the next five years, but I know that the only thing truly important is today. I remind myself to not worry about tomorrow since tomorrow will take care of itself. And if I believe that God is in control, then I also have to believe that all things will work out (to him who loves God and is called according to his purpose).

Our main prayer request is timing at this point. All of these items have to be approved/denied by insurance before Medicaid will cover the cost. And getting approval or denial from insurance can take months. And we are praying that all decisions can occur timely and that we can be polite but firm with our phone calls to insurance.

Finally 6!

2010-10-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

Today is Cade's 6th birthday. He has been looking forward to this day since Tucker turned 6 in July.

Time has flown since he joined our family 4 1/2 years ago. He has grown from a timid, scared, tired little boy to a confident, smart, (and sometimes outspoken) big boy. Cade has found his voice this year which is hard to do when you have 3 older brothers. If you get him one-on-one, he will talk your ear off and tell you ever family secret. He is full of ideas, full of creativity, and loves order (he is my clean freak - just like his dad). In this past year, he has learned to ride his bike, is a whizz on his scooter, learned to read, and lost his two bottom teeth. And, the sweetest sound I hear ever week is when he stands on the pew in church with his arm around mine and I hear his voice singing praises (melts my heart every time).

Cader-tot - I love you dearly. Your big brown eyes still melt my heart. Your laugh is contagious and makes me smile. And your voice is music to my ears (except when you whine - but we are working on that). I love watching you grow up and learn. And always remember, God chose you to be our son. You were destined to be a Daily boy from the moment you were born.

Appointments

2010-10-26T13:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Becky and I met with the staff at the Frisco Early Childhood School to review the activities and evaluation for Titus. When Titus turns 3, he is eligible to be evaluated and attend the Early Childhood School. Titus has been receiving therapy through Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) services for the last couple of years, and this is now the next step.

Our emotions are all over the place on sending Titus to school. The thought of sending our medically-fragile, tender child to school for 3 hours a day is overwhelming. The thought of not having in him the house being cared for by us in the mornings is unthinkable. The thought that we can put him on the bus to go to school puts me in tears.

But, the thought of him being in a learning environment with one-on-one instruction for 3 hours is wonderful. Meeting his teacher and seeing how she handled him with tender loving care touched my heart. Seeing the classroom and all the fun toys provides me with a sense of knowing he will have fun while learning.

But he's just my little boy - he's just turning 3 years old. And none of my boys have ever ridden a bus to school (of course, we can take him and pick him up - and it's just a few miles from the house).

Our intake meeting yesterday was long. Becky was prepared for her questions and what to ask for. But basically, the first 45 days of school, Titus will evaluated. After the evaluation, they will develop and Individaul Education Plan (IEP) for him with the goals for his school year. We (parents and teachers/therapists) all have to agree on the plan, goals, and objectives for the IEP. But yesterday's meeting was to agree on the plan during the evaluation period. And since Titus will be in school, his at home therapy through ECI will stop - so therefore we wanted to make sure he would still be receiving the same services at school during that time.

We did develop a plan and agreed to Titus going to school 3 days a week instead of 5. Which will also keep him attending his private therapy on Tuesday and Thursday. And we did agree that we will take him to school at the begining. There is some paperwork to get through, but November 15 is just a few weeks away.

Titus also had a recent visit with his ENT to review that status on his cochlear implant. The audiologist is pleased at how Titus responds when his cochlear is on (and we are too).

Titus also had his annual visit with the cranofacial surgeon. The good news is that his jaw is stable. But it appears that Titus skull is not growing. The skull grows as the brain grows. Without any other testing but measuring his head, it "appears" that his brain is not growing since his skull is not growing. But when Becky asked what that meant, the answer came back "I'm not sure". Again, it's another area that we could really worrry about, but then we also look at how much Titus is learning, how cognizant he is, and we have again have to trust that all of this is part of God's plan for Titus' life.

Titus has been growing though - in fact, he's pretty much outgrown the Bugaboo stroller that we have used for the last 3 years. We never dreamed when we bought that stroller for Tucker 6 years ago that is would have been a perfect tool for Titus these last 3 years. The next logical step is to find a transitional stroller/wheelchair. Tomorrow we have an appointment with a sales rep in Dallas to look at several different ones. Again, this is another leap of faith and learning since we know very little about wheelchairs. Beck has developed a list of items we would like to have on it - but one of the key items is that it's easy to transport and fold down. And, once we decide, it could take up to a year before insurance approves it (or insurance denies it and Medicaid pays for it). Your prayers in that area would be appreciated.

We do have a fun week planned ahead - Cade turns 6 on Wednesday (he can hardly contain himself), Noah has a football playoff game, Tucker has baseball, and we are attending the Korean Festival on Saturday. And then Sunday evening we will be busy collecting food for Scare Away Hunger (and I"m sure the kids may get some candy along the way).

My Life is a SItcom

2010-10-03T19:47:00.000-05:00

Let's face it - our life is a sitcom. Many people have commented that we would make a great reality show, but I don't think TV land is really ready for "The Daily Life" - most people wouldn't believe the things that go on.

It's been a jam-packed weekend - too busy for our own good. For years, we have tried to not overbook the boys into too many activities so that our own family time would not be impacted. But this Fall, something happened, and we catch ourselves running between football practice/games for Noah, baseball practice/games for Tucker, and drama rehearsals/shows for Aidan. Someone was literally somewhere everynight this week - and often two or three of them needed to be somewhere at the same time. This is in addition to all of Titus therapy's and doctor's appts, and the homeschooling (and homeschooling activities) that go on during the week.

It has been so busy, that we haven't had one family dinner in 2 weeks. So, Saturday, we were determined after football practice and the Frisco Arts Festival, that we would have dinner prior to taking Aidan back for the inaugural performance in the new Black Box Theater at the Frisco Discovery Center.

I asked Tucker and Cade to clear the table as Becky was cooking dinner. I noticed Tucker pick up the phone, but did not pay much attention. A few seconds letter, the phone rang. Aidan looked at the caller id and handed me the phone saying "It's the City of Frisco".

As I answer the phone, I am immediately asked "Is everything ok?"

"Yes", I answered.

"This is the City of Frisco Emergency Services. Someone from this phone number has called 911. Can you verify your name and address?"

I looked at Tucker and asked gently "Tucker, did you dial some numbers on the phone"

"Yes"

I told the lady on the phone that it was a childish accident and apologized. But then she stated, "It's our policy to send the police to verify that everything is ok. They will be there shortly."

I hung up the phone and let Becky and the boys know that the police would be stopping by to verify that we were all safe.

Tucker suddenly lost his appetite. All the assurances in the world would not stop the feeling of dread that came over Tucker.

So, our quiet family dinner turned into a larger circus with two very nice policeman from our local police force. As soon as they walked in the door, Tucker began to whimper. I silently prayed that this would not be a time for Tucker to have a nosebleed since I knew the presence of blood would probably not convince the police that "everything is ok". (Tucker has been having horrific, gushers of a nosebleed lately that would convince you he is hemoraghing) .

One of the officers came to the table to talk to the family and kept assuring Tucker everything was ok, but I did notice that the other policeman hung back in the living room and his eyes were scanning EVERYTHING. I somehow got the impression he wasn't admiring the beautiful fall decorations we recently put around the house, but was looking for the out-of-place body part sticking out from under the sofa.

Tucker gathered up his courage and shook the officer's hand and walked them to the door. And we sat down to salvage the rest of our meal before Aidan had to be at the theater.

By the way, Noah's football team one their first game this past Saturday. (Now, this wasn't their FIRST game, just the first game they won). But the smile says it all.

Titus Update

2010-09-24T12:41:00.000-05:00

Titus has had a great week. Whatever virus he had last week that caused the increase in secretions has now worked it's way out of his system and he has been doing good.

On Wednesday, Titus had a scheduled appt with his pulmonologist. Dr G. was very impressed with Titus. He stated his breathing was the best he's ever seen it. We do believe it is because of the consistent breathing treatments and use of the Vest (vibrating/pulsating vest) twice a day.

Titus continues to make small improvement in therapy. He is taking more "steps" in the gait trainer and is repeating actions from games he has been taught. He occasionally also shows a little "attitude" in therapy when he doesn't want to do something. One of the items they are beginning to work with him on is picking up items with his fingers. Much like a young baby, he grasps everything with his entire hand - whereas, they are now working on training him to pick up an item with his fingers. We would appreciate your prayers in that area.

Titus also has a scooter now - although all the boys are enjoying rolling around on it. We are working on Titus using his arms to roll himself around.

Another area of prayer is for school. When Titus turns 3 in Novembe, he will be eligible to start attending school in Frisco. Becky and I have an upcoming meeting where they will evaluate Titus (although the teacher did come to the house with one of the therapists a few weeks ago to meet him). Part of Titus going to school means that the bus will pick him up and bring him home - which also means we need his new wheelchair ordered and delivered. None of our kids have ever ridden the bus to school. When Aidan and Noah were in private school, we dropped them up and picked them up each day. And even though the school is just a few miles from the house, my emotions about putting my precious little boy on the bus (even though it's specifically designed for kids with special needs) puts a lump in my throat. But the school is wonderful and will be very beneficial for Titus.

Last of all, Becky and I will be attending a special conference this weekend for parents of visually impaired children. It starts this evening, and runs through Sunday afternoon. And then there will be 3 more weekends over the next 6 months to attend. As difficult as it is to give up an entire weekend, my prayer is that Becky and I will meet other parents and be a source of encouragement to others.

And, on Sunday, our church will be nominating the first 4 members of our Pastor Search Committee. Your prayers on this process will be much appreciated.

Occupational Therapy

2010-09-21T13:33:00.000-05:00

Here's a new picture of Titus at occupational therapy - loving his swing!

Why Titus had Breathing Problems

2010-09-17T15:26:00.000-05:00

Titus is doing much better - still a bit of congestion and very low-grade fever off and on, but his breathing has improved.

And we think we know why. In the house, we have a large liquid oxygen canister. It is refilled every week, but can usually last 2-3 weeks if we needed it to. We have a 50 ft. cord attached to the container which allows us to take titus all over the first-floor of the house without moving the canister (very heavy - even on wheels).

Wednesday night, after Becky and Jody had left for the ER, I coiled up the oxygen tubing so that it wasn't on the floor to be trampled on by dogs/kids. As I was coiling it up, I noticed a few places that were rough, possible indicating a puncture/tear, but as tired as I was, didn't think much about it till yesterday.

Yesterday, I was caring for Titus and his SATs were low again, and even after turning up the oxygen, they were not improving. And that's when I remembered about the rough places on the cord. As soon as we replaced the cord, it was amazing how his SATs jumped up. Titus had a great night - going to bed at 7:30pm and sleeping till 8pm and his alarm only went off twice last night (we consider that a GREAT night). Which also meant that Becky and I had a great night of sleep.

Thanks again for the prayers!

80's on 8

2010-09-16T21:36:00.000-05:00

My "man-van" has satellite radio. When the free subscription to satellite radio ran out, I let the subscription expire. This past summer, I received a great, discounted offer to turn it back on, and since the van is paid off and I will be driving it for awhile, I decided to treat myself and renew my subscription.

I will state that one of the nice things about the van is that the stereo is pretty good - and with all the extra empty space in the back, the bass can really boom and echo. There's many a day I miss a cell phone call in the car because I have the radio turned up pretty high.

A few weeks ago, I had to pick up Aidan at church after a youth activity. As I drove across town, I had the radio turned up high on the "80's on 8" channel. Yes, that dates me - but it brings back a LOT of college and early single day memories from the 1980's.

As I pull in the church parking lot, many of the youth are in the parking lot milling around or waiting to be picked up. I drove right up to where Aidan was, music cranked high, and windows down - thinking I was a rather cool dad with my thumping radio.

Aidan quickly got in the car, turned down the radio, and gave me a look, and with that disapproving voice said "DAD!"

At that point, I looked down and saw the song that was playing ever so loudly as I pulled into the parking lot. Let's just say it was a certain Madonna song about her comparison to a young innocent, unmarried girl - enough said.

I sheepishly stated, "I'm sorry".

And Aidan sighed, "That was SO embarrassing!"

Oh, What a Night!

2010-09-16T11:41:00.002-05:00

Let me see if I can accurately recap the last 24 hours.

Titus has been doing great, but the last few days, he has been congested. We haven't had to suction much during the summer, but over the last few days, he's just been gunky (and so have I). He's been running a small fever off and on all week.

Titus has been doing great at Therapy - taking more steps at Physical Therapy, and loving chocolate pudding at feeding therapy.

Yesterday, he was a "live wire". He was chattering and interacting with people at church - basically just a happy camper.

As we got home from church, our friends, the "K's" drove up. They are driving from Minnesota back home to Houston and were staying the night. And as soon as we got in the house, Tucker and Cade had to show Ashley the baby rabbit.

Now, we have rabbits (and baby rabbits) in the backyard all the time. The last time we found baby rabbits, Jude thought they were dog toys and threw them around the yard and then ate them (lovely dog - btw, Jude has a new home). This week, we found another batch of baby rabbits - and these were larger than the ones we had found before.

And, that's when Becky told me that they had brought one inside the house, put in a bin, and were feeding it all day yesterday. (and yes, Karen D. - they named him Stu).

Tucker and Cade ran to the bin on the counter to show Ashley the rabbit, and that's when the squeals start.

"HE'S GONE! HE'S ESCAPED!"

And the mayhem started.

For the next hour, 9 kids searched the house, high and low, with flashlights looking for this tiny rabbit. I was convinced that Quita had found it first and enjoyed it as an appetizer. After an hour of searching, no rabbit could be found and the kids were distracted with toy guns and running around the house. It's was now 10pm and I had used up all my words for the day about 6 hours prior, so I gave the kids a 15 minute warning and advised them to prepare for bed (which they did).

As soon as all the children were in bed, Ashley walked in holding a tiny bundle of fur. She found the Stu on the kitchen counter behind a potato chip bag (I'm sure cowering in fear from the noise and children). He was returned to his bin with a lid, and placed outside for the remainder of the evening. We didn't want to tempt Quita for a midnight snack.

While the rabbit hunt was going on, Becky and Jody had gone to Titus' room to feed. And that's when Becky noticed Titus breathing was erratic and he just seemed to be breathing shallow. Over the course of the next few hours, his breathing worsened, we turned his oxygen up, and we did a couple of breathing treatments. At 1:30am, Becky stated, "I'm concerned", to which I replied, "Go pack".

Becky and Jody rushed Titus to the ER and I tried to go back to sleep - but that's not an easy task to do. As I laid in bed, I prayed. I prayed for his breathing, I prayed for the doctors and nurses in the ER, I prayed for peace and awareness for Becky and Jody since I knew they were tired.

I eventually drifted off to sleep, but 4:30am, I heard a familiar beep. After few minutes, I heard it again. I looked up and saw a faint light under the door. My first thought was "did I not turn off all the lights and Titus' equipment?". I then heard the door open, and Becky walked in (by the light of her iPhone.)

By the time Becky had driven Titus to the ER, he was awake and alert and breathing better. The chest x-ray showed his lungs as clear, and since he was not running a fever at the time, they sent them back home. He slept peacefully the rest of the morning and then was off to therapy at 7:30am.

Titus still has some congestion and after a trip to the pediatrician this morning, they believe he has a virus, so our prayers are that it begins to clear up and his breathing remains strong.

Football Season

2010-09-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

Noah is playing football this fall. It's his first time to play, while all the others have been playing on the team for several years. Although not the biggest player on the team, he is the tallest (actually, he towers over a few of the other kids). Sixth Grade is funny like that - you have some kids that hitting that growth spurt and others that haven't. I do believe Noah has grown 3 inches over the summer. Everytime we turn around, he seems to have outgrown something.

Last week, the team received their jerseys and the parents were asked to present them to their sons and say a few words.

And this is what I told him.

Noah - You have persevered through the heat of practice to learn the game. And not once have you ever complained. You have done everything the coaches ask, exactly the way they ask. You listen to their instruction and have worked and practiced to improve. But more than anything else, you have been an encourager to your team. I hear your voice over all the others encouraging your teammates on. I have seen you stay late to encourage a player who was running sprints. I hear you encouraging the one guy who is lagging behind to not give up. And that's why I am proud of you - you persevere and you encourage.

Taking Steps

2010-08-25T12:58:00.000-05:00

Here's what Titus is working on in Therapy.

For those of you who recieve the updates through email, the video does not always come through, but you can look on the blog to watch. http://www.thelifeoftitus.blogspot.com/

Therapy

2010-08-20T10:19:00.000-05:00

I had mentioned a few weeks back that my position was being outsourced to India (but we weren't moving to India). Over the last few weeks, I interviewed internally and landed a new position in the HR department. Last week, I was in the UK for a series of process meetings as I moved into my new role.

The trip to the UK was interesting since I am still in therapy for my foot - and my stamina for walking / standing long periods of time is not exactly built up (especially around airports). So, as I returned this week, my foot has been swollen and in a bit of pain and I have continued going to therapy twice a week to work on flexibilty.

On Tuesday, one of our technical resources in the office came to my desk to complain about an event. He was quite animated and frustrated with the lack of communication in his area. After talking for a bit and coming to a resolution, I stood up and stated "Thanks - but I need to leave for therapy now." To which he replied, "Maybe I should go with you - this place is crazy and I need someone to talk to".

I politely stated "I'm going to PHYSICAL therapy - not the other kind".

I then asked him "do you THINK I need to be in the other therapy?"

He didn't reply!

Overdue Update

2010-08-16T15:08:00.000-05:00

Life has been incredibly busy this summer - so much so that I haven't updated the blog in a month.

Titus has been having a great summer. Except for the appearance of styes in his eyes over the past month, he has been healthy and happy. Last week, we took him to the natatorium for a party and floated him around the pool. We sat in the shallow end where the water would wash over his legs - and his little hands were open and searching. I sat him next to one of the bubbling jets and he would find the jet with his hands and smile/laugh as he felt the water flowing through his hands. We put a life jacket on him and took him to the lazy river to float around the pool - and he LOVED it.

He continues to do well in his feeding therapy - he's been eating small amounts of baby food, but just like his dad, he prefers ice cream much more than bland baby food.

Aidan just completed 3 weeks of day camp in preparation for Word of Mouth Productions - the theater troupe he has joined that performs in the area. He has learned his parts in Wizard of Oz (Tin Man and other parts), Robin Hood (Robin Hood), America Before Columbus, and a few other shows. They will perform in elementary schools and other venues during the school year. He's been quite excited - but we remind him to leave the drama at drama camp when he comes home.

Noah had music camp at the end of July where he had the role of Mordecai in the musical "Ester-ordinary Faith'. He did a great job and you could tell he was having fun with his friends on the stage. He also started football practice a few weeks ago. As a reminder, it's still over 100 degrees in the evening when they start their 2-hour practice. But Noah is one never to complain and he is a coaches dream since he does everything they ask him to do exactly they way they ask him to. Not to mention, as a 12 yr old, 6-grader, he's also 5'8" with a 10.5 size shoe and he's still growing. For now, they are training him to play Center - which means he is always looking for someone to practice with him in the back yard.

Tucker and Cade have been busy keeping us busy. They are ready to start Kindergarten and so eager to learn.

Last of all, there's Jude, the marmaduke of puppies. He seems to have stopped growing although we do believe he can still eat his weight in dog food every day. We have found his weakness - and it's quite odd - but this puppy has a thing for tassles. He doesn't chew shoes, has not chewed on the furniture, hasn't had an accident in the house in months, and in most cases is a great dog - except for tassles. If he sees a tassle on a pillow, then it must be chewed and destroyed. And our bedroom bedspread HAD tassles on the corners and pillows at the beginning of the summer. He has now chewed them all off. He does leave fringe alone, but for some reason, tassles drive him crazy.

I'll post more later this week - thanks for all the continued support and prayers.

Happy Boy

2010-07-21T15:14:00.000-05:00

Here's a short video of Titus. It's one thing to talk about how happy and content he is, but this really shows it.

And, yesterday, he ate 2 ounces of vanilla pudding. It's great to see how the feeding therapy is working - but I will say, my boy has a definite sweet tooth.

Comment from the Back Seat

2010-07-21T10:33:00.001-05:00

As I am driving Noah to church last night, Tucker was sitting in the back seat and we were all talking. And then Tucker said "Dad, I don't mean to hurt your feelings for what I'm going to say but . . . . when you die, I'm going to work in your office.

Um . . . ok!

GFI National Conference

2010-07-14T11:08:00.000-05:00

We head out tomorrow for Tulsa, OK for the Growing Families National conference. Becky and I will be speaking in 4 sessions and would really appreciate your prayers.

I'll be leading a session on 'Raising Daniels in a Technological Babylon: trainng your child on today's technology". I co-facilitated the session last year with Hank O last year, but unfortunately, he can't make it this year, so I'm doing it solo. It amazes me how much I have had to update the notes from last year's talk - so much has changed on the technological landscape. And my focus this year is more and more on the character training that needs to go on. Our children need to know how to 'resolve not to defile themselves (Daniel 1:8) in this ever-changing techno-world we live in.

Becky and I will also be speaking with our good friends, Mike and Jody K on 'Raising Kids with Character'. All 4 of us practiced last night and all I can say is, who knows what's going to come out of our mouths. Between the 4 of us (who ALL enjoy presenting) and our warped sense of humor, it promises to be a fun session. It's kind of like trying to fit a size 10 foot into a size 6 shoe. There's just so much info to share that we will squeeze it all in, but there's bound to be some spillage.

But most of all, we are looking forward to seeing good friends in Tulsa. This conference is one of the highlights for the year for us. And this year, all the boys (except for Noah) are going with us. Noah has rehearsal for the Kids Summer Musical this weekend (He is Mordecai in Ester-Ordinary Faith), so he will be staying in town.

We would appreciate your prayers as we travel and present at the conference. Our hearts are always to lead parents into knowledge on biblical parenting. And we so want to be encouragers since parenting is a tough task.

And this Sunday, when we return, we will also begin our Growing Kids God's Way class in our home. God always amazes us on how he brings together the couples for this class and we are excited to lead this group of couples.

Blessed

2010-07-13T16:54:00.000-05:00

Well, today is my birthday. And I'm not ashamed to say I'm 49 (because if I don't tell you, Tucker probably will).

But I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure.

My God has blessed me with another day of life to learn of his incredible treasures.

My God has blessed me with an incredible wife who is beyond measure.

My God has blessed me with 5 boys who keep me young (and feeling old at the same time).

I could go on and on, but it's just easier to say I'm blessed and I'm thankful.

Summer Cut

2010-07-10T18:59:00.000-05:00

Everyone got haircuts yesterday or today. And that includes Titus. If you've met Titus, you know that this child can grow hair. And, it sticks straight up on top. No amount of water, gel, or combing can get it to lay down. We absolutely love it, but we did feel for summer, he should have his summer cut. Now that he has it, he and Noah look so much alike.

Happy Birthday Tucker

2010-07-08T11:18:00.000-05:00

July is our celebration month - between Noah, Tucker, and my birthdays, and our wedding anniversary, it's a busy month for us.

So today, Tucker is 6! He's been so excited for the few months. And he has a fun day planned out with a behind-the-scenes tour at the movie theater and then going to see Toy Story 3. And, then he gets to go to his well checkup visit with the doctor. And I'm sure tonight, there will be plenty of cake to still eat (although he seems much more interested in opening presents that eating cake.)

Last week, Tucker and Cade were talking in the room and the conversation went like this.

Tucker: Cade

Tucker: CADE

Tucker: CAAAAADEEEEEEE!!!!!

Cade: What?

Tucker: What time is it?

Cade: Time for you to get a watch!

So, as you can see in the pic above, Tuck received a watch for his birthday from his Meemaw and Peepaw. He is very proud of it and loves to press all the buttons (although he is still not sure what all the buttons mean, but I know his mother will be teaching him how to set the timer very soon).

To my precious "Tucka", you have added much spice to our lives. Your energy astounds me (but that's cause I'm old), your athleticism amazes me, and your smile dazzles me. As my sanguine child, you make friends whereever you go. But at the end of the day, you are still my cuddle-bunny who still smothers me with kisses.

I say this every year, but I still pray for your birth mom and her peace. May she always know she gave you the most precious gift when she chose life for you, and she gave us the most selfless gift when she made an adoption plan for you.

I love you dearly Tucker Paul Jin.

Happy Birthday Noah

2010-07-04T10:59:00.001-05:00

Noah is 12 today. We are out on Cedar Creek lake staying with friends at their lake house (as we have done for the last few years on the 4th of July weekend). Noah got up this morning ready for his early morning celebratory jet-ski ride with Mr. David. And, he's now out on the banana tube skidding all over the lake with Aidan, Madison, Bailey, and Tucker. Cade decided to stay on land.

And, I'm in the house with Titus. We decided I could probably get in the boat hopping on one foot, but getting me out could take an army, so I'm sitting in the house working on our presentations for the Growing Families conference in 2 weeks (and blogging).

But back to Noah.

My precious son - You have always been and still remain our firecracker. From the moment you decided to make your early (and very fast) arrival after the 4th of July parade, you have led your life at full speed. I have tried for years to find your speed and volume switch, but them seem to be permamently set to fast and loud.

Oh how you have changed this past year. You are now as tall as your mother and you can wear your father's shoes. Your voice has deepened (but is still very loud). I love how you play with your little brothers. You can be so sweet (and firm) putting them to bed or reading them a book or playing legos. You are incredibly tender with Titus. Titus face always lights up when you take his hand and have him touch your head. You and Aidan together still make me laugh. You can work beautifully together one minute, then holler at each other the next. You know exactly how to tease Aidan, and although he will never admit it, he loves it.

I love how you serve others. Watching you on Wednesday night helping serve / cleanup dinner at church blesses my heart. I see how you joke and love on the senior adults and I love how you know all their names. I love to see you run up to the younger boys and give them high-5's (and to see how those little boys light up because you know their name). It blesses your mother and I, when someone we don't even know comes up and tells how you helped out or served others. I love your diligence - when you set your mind to a task you carry it out to completion - much like you did with Bible Drill this year and ended up with a perfect score at state. My prayer is that you always keep that servants heart and maintain that diligence on your goals.

Oh, and my other prayer is that you learn that burping really loud will never attract a decent girl. I know that's not important when your 12, but trust me, when your 24 it will matter. (And it's something you need to work on now).

Happy Birthday son. I love you dearly.

Working Hard

2010-06-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

This is the gate trainer that Titus has been working in lately. The upper portion supports his torso and holds him at the right height where he can put some pressure on his legs and push himself along. One of these days we will get a video and show you how hard he works at therapy, but I wanted to show you some of the things he works on at therapy each week. And why we work so hard at home at putting him in the stander, having him roll around the floor, and playing with toys. All of this continues to stimulate him and his muscles. It's hard work for him, but he has come so far and I'm so proud of my little man.

National Coverage

2010-06-22T09:53:00.000-05:00

We received a FaceBook message from a lady in Illinois this past week who had read the article on Titus and Special Needs Financial Planning. The article had appeared in the Dallas Morning News last month, but was released by one of the news services and has been picked up by newspapers all across the US. What a pleasant surprise to hear that the story has been reprinted by newspapers from Bend, Oregan, to Biloxi, Ms, to Saulk Valley, IL.

God is good and our prayer continues to be that people will be inspired and educated by the life of Titus.

Rock Star

2010-06-17T10:24:00.000-05:00

Titus going for his rock star hairstyle - love it!

It has been a busier-than-usual week around the household. Tucker and Cade have had swimming lessons in the morning. Noah has had football camp in the evening, and Aidan is finishing up his lifeguard preparation class in the evening. Since the pool and the football field are not close to each other, it's been divide and conquer in the evenings - with most boys not getting to bed till after 10pm.

I made it down to the football field on Monday night (crutched down a hill and through about 200 yards of grass and back) to watch Noah. He's loving it, but I was paranoid a fire ant was going to crawl under my foot that was still wrapped up. Fortunately, no ant even came near me.

Tuesday, I stayed home with Cade while Becky shuttled boys around to both practices. At the end of the evening, as I was taking Jude outside to do his business, I fell in the house. And yes, it was one of those "I've fallen and can't get up" moments. I wasn't hurt and didn't fall on my leg, but once was I flat on the ground, I didn't have enough leverage to get back up. Cade was very calm, brought me the phone, and then stayed there and talked to me. Since I was flat on my back, I decided this would be a good teaching opportunity.

I asked Cade "what if Daddy was really hurt - who would you call?" And we talked about calling 911.

I then asked Cade "Now, they are going to ask you for our address - what's our address?" and Cade said "972-633-xxxx".

"Cade - that's our phone number - remember the little song we sing about our address?"

silence

"OK Cade, let's talk about something else you could do - you could run across the street and get the neighbor". And we talked about which neighbor to go to that he knows very well. And about that time, the doorbell rings, and there is talked-about neighbor. Becky called them to have them go over and check on me. John helped me get to my feet and then Becky was home in a few minutes.

But Cade was very brave during the entire episode. He remained calm and right by my side looking for ways to help.

Becky and I would appreciate your prayers for our health. We both have some health issues that we are working through and combined with the normal activities of life and the summer heat, these days have left us exhausted.

iPhone

2010-06-15T13:52:00.000-05:00

Caught - red-handed! Now we know who's been sending out all the texts.

Monday, Monday

2010-06-14T12:27:00.000-05:00

Life is somewhat back to normal this Monday. I am working from home, but actually doing quite well with relatively little pain.

Titus is one happy camper. He is loving his new play mats on the floor. He rolls all over them (and off of them). They provide a comfortable and cushy place for him to play. And the dogs are learning to stay off of them.

By the way, Jude is becoming quite the good dog. While still a puppy, he has really matured in the last weeks on learning his boundaries (although he is still on a leash a majority of the time). And Quita has accepted him as a playmate and they are quite funny rolling around playing on the floor. Of course, two 70 lbs dogs playing on the floor with tails wagging can cause a lot of things to be displaced.

Becky and the boys went waterskiing with Uncle George on Saturday. And Ashley K has been staying with us helping out with little ones while I've been out of commission. So, it was a fun day for them on the lake. Noah is learning to water-ski and is getting up on the water! I believe he'll be skiing before end of summer.

Thanks for all the prayers over the last week on my surgery. I would say, it's been relatively easier than I expected, but then Becky would say - "yes dear - you were on pain medication the entire time". But I would appreciate prayers for quick healing. I really feel that Becky and I are a team when it comes to our marriage, our family, and our care for Titus. And with me being "benched", she has really had to carry the load - and I'm ready to getting back to playing the game with her. She is an incredible woman and a saint.

Surgery is DONE

2010-06-10T19:10:00.000-05:00

First of all, thanks for all the prayers the last few days. I truly appreciate them.

I showed up at 11am yesterday for my 2pm surgery. They immediately took me back and test my blood for my potassium level. And it was back to the normal range.

The last thing I remember was the anesthesiologist told me he was going to give me something to relax me as they wheeled back to the operating room. He stated it was fast-acting, and I remember saying "ROCK ON" and then I was out.

The last 24 hours have been an adjustment of getting all the anesthesia out of my system and adjusting to the pain pills. I slept most of the day today - and I can't even remember when I slept that much.
There is still a lot of pain , but it's bearable. I have moved from taking pain pills back to every 5 hours instead of every 4 and that's working good for me.

But honestly, I'm not too coherent - so I'm going to sign-off before I write something unintelligable. Thanks again for the prayers.

Surgery Update

2010-06-09T09:09:00.000-05:00

I am scheduled for surgery at 2:00 today. I will show up at 11am for them to do a blood test and see if my potassium has come back up. I did find out that 3 weeks ago when I had my physical, my potassium level was in the normal range. So - who knows, but we'll find out this morning. The anesthesiologist did not seem to concerned last night when I talked with him. If we do cancel surgery, the next available surgey date is July 14 - which is not feasible since Becky and I will be attending/speaking at the Growing Families Conference in Tulsa that weekend. (And the last thing anyone wants is me on hydrocodone speaking at a conference - no telling what I would say, but it would probably be pretty funny since those pills knock me for a loop.)

Whatever happens, I am at peace. If it's postponed, I'll live. Just knowing there is a solution provides some comfort.

I'll update later today - but will state now - I am not responsible for anything I may say or post if I'm on pain pills.

Potassium

2010-06-08T07:07:00.000-05:00

I received a call yesterday that my potassium level is low (3.3 when the range is 3.5 to 5.1). I am trying to contact my GP today to take the labs over so he can prescribe potassium. If it's still low on Wednesday morning, they may postpone my surgery.

Whilst this is one more thing to do today that I was not planning on, I do know that God has everything in control and will just go with the flow. But your prayers would be appreciated. It may be more pyschological than physical, but it does seem the pain in my feet has increased over the past month and I really just want to get this taken care of.

I also have a jam-packed, intensive day at work so I would appreciate prayers for clarity and concentration.

Titus is doing good. He just makes us smile. He had his annual cardiology exam yesterday and everything is fine there. He still has a very small ASD in his heart that has not closed, but it is not causing any concern. Last night, he was playing, laughing, reaching and smiling at us. What a blessing to have such a content boy.

Busy Week

2010-06-06T19:44:00.000-05:00

Titus has had a good week at home. He has settled back into his routine, finished his meds, and his breathing is back to normal (well - normal for Titus). While he was in the hospital, his new play mat was delivered - and it's a wonderful thing to have a nice, thick mat on the floor for him to play on. But, the little man can roll himself off the mat if we aren't looking.

My surgery on my left foot is Wednesday morning. For some reason, I was convinced that a few days in bed is all that I would need for recovery, but after I looked at the list of heavy-duty pain pills that have been prescribed, I have the feeling this may be a little bit more intensive. The main concern I have is that I will be on crutches for a a few weeks - and this is going to make nighttime difficult since it will not be easy for me to get up and get to Titus' room - which means the burden is on Becky. A couple of nights of this is one thing, several weeks of this is another. Becky has suggested I just sleep in Titus' room as a quick remedy. She's already gotten the air mattress out.

Becky is also attending a Deaf-Blind conference at the end of the week. (And yes, I was suppose to go with her, but surgery kind of made a change in plans for us).

And last of all, I will be actively looking for a job over the next seven months. My company has been going through an HR Transformation project, and my job is being moved to India (but I'm not). Fortunately, they do not expect any changes till January 2011 which gives me plenty of time to locate a new position within my company or locate something elsewhere. (And based on how they are currently preparing for things, I could be around a lot longer). There are some new positions I can apply for, but will need to got through the entire interview process along with everyone else.

This Transformation project has been going on for the last several months, and the announcement did not catch me by surprise - frankly, I'm actually glad that the "mystery" is all over. The difficult part is that I work with some incredible people. We are one happy, dysfunctional family (but as we say, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional.) And that's what has bothered all of us knowing that we will all be going to new places - only a few are retaining their jobs in the USA.

So, if anyone is looking for an incredible, talented, (and humble) HR Director (or a whole HR Team), let me know! We do need to stay in the Dallas area, but any contacts or leads you can pass along will be greatly appreciated.

Home Again

2010-05-29T21:28:00.000-05:00

Titus was released this morning from the hospital. But we've learned, just because the doctor says your are free to go, you still have to wait for your discharge papers. So, several hours later, Titus and Becky were home.

I took Titus and walked into his room. And the moment, I stepped in his room, he "leaped" in my arms. Literally, he jumped/moved/shaked. He KNEW he was in his room. He KNEW he was home. And the smile on his face said it all - "it's good to be home".

He took a great nap this afternoon - and so did Becky and I. She layed down on one sofa and I layed down on the other one - and we both believe a bomb could have gone off next door and we would have slept through it. It was good to have some restful sleep.

Thank you for all your prayers, notes, phone calls, and visits. We so appreciate your kindness to us.

In many ways, these hospital visits are memorials for us. I can't walk into the halls of Medical City without thinking of all the months we spent there. Every time I ride the elevator and it stops at the 4th floor (NICU) or 5th floor (PICU), memories flood back. Every time I see a family get on the elevator from one of those floors, and I see the emotion on their face, I remember. The long hours spent in the quiet rooms listening to the sound of the monitors, watching my son struggle for his life are thoughts that will never leave me. They are a memorial - a remembrance of a time where God showed me that He has a plan, He is always faithful, He will carry me through.

As you celebrate Memorial Day this weekend, I challenge you to find the memorials in your life - those times that are marked with memories that have shaped you into the person you are today. And I challenge you to share those memories with your children, with your friends, with your family. If we don't, then those memorials will lose their meaning.

Joshua 4:21-24 states "He said to the Israelites, "In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.' For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.".

And last of all, remember our patriots who gave their life so that we may live free in America. May their memory never be forgotten, may their bravery be remembered, and may we tell our children that we live in a land of freedom because of the sacrifice of so many who were willing to serve, willing to fight, and willing to take a stand for what is right.

Friday Morning

2010-05-28T11:28:00.000-05:00

Titus is doing ok. All the "junk" in his lungs is breaking up (that's good) and he is a relatively happy camper. Physical Therapy came by yesterday to get him working some - and he was a trooper.

Today, they are moving his respiratory therapy to every 4 hours and back to the normal dosage of medicine we use in his nebulizer when giving a breathing treatment. If he can tolerate this, we "may" go home on Saturday. But, we'll know when Saturday rolls around.

Wednesday Morning

2010-05-26T10:29:00.000-05:00

It's on 9:30, but Becky and I have already had a full day. Becky had a 4am appt with a rheumatologist. That's the only time he sees new patients - how convienent! So I was up at 2:30am (after working till 11:30pm) to drive down, Becky was up at the same time to meet me there and was up just as late with Titus. Needless to say, we looked fresh! (more like freshly warmed over). Just like I wanted to get to the bottom of my foot pain and now have a surgery scheduled, Becky has had joint pain and overall exhaustion that she wanted to get to the bottom of with the right specialist. We'll know more in a few weeks on that front.

As Becky went for x-rays, I went back to the hospital to stay with Titus. He was sleeping soundly and resting comfortably. He woke up when I came in, looked at me and smiled, raised his hands up to touch my face, and then went back to sleep.

Becky got back to the hospital around 8am, and I came into the office for a series of meetings.

But as I left, the respiratory therapist was in working on Titus and stated he sounds good and his lungs sound clear. We are still waiting on lab results to come back so until that happens, we don't have a timeframe on when we are headed home. I'll let you know more as the day progresses.

PS - The boys stopped to visit Titus after lunch

Tuesday Evening

2010-05-25T19:30:00.000-05:00

I just got back from the hospital. If you didn't know Titus was sick, you couldn't tell it. He is happy, laughing, playing, and in a great mood. They are doing respiratory therapy every 2 hours - and it's helping. His lungs still sound "junky" but it looks like it may be breaking up. We do not have the lab results back yet.

Tomorrow is a busy day for us. Becky has a 4am rheumatologist appt. I will be with her while a friend stays with Titus at the hospital. And, I'm in the middle some big work deadlines. I have a great group of co-workers who are assisting here in USA and in the UK, but it's just a lot to do in a the next week.

Tuesday Morning Update

2010-05-25T09:04:00.000-05:00

Titus had an "ok" night at the hospital. He was transferred to a room on the Pediatric floor around 11am - which is around the time his fever broke. He's on an IV (which they got in the first time) and taking some heavy-duty antiobiotics. His white blood count was very high last night prior to starting, so there is obviously some infection going on and we realize that taking him to the ER yesterday afternoon was the right thing to do.

I'll update more today as we know more.

At the Emergency Room

2010-05-24T18:47:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned briefly last time, Titus had a rough night Friday night. Saturday, he was struggling to breathe by late morning was running a fever. Tylenol brought the fever down, and he breathing/heart rate returned to normal around 3pm Saturday and all of Sunday/Sunday night.

But today, he started struggling again, and Becky and the nurse, made the decision to take him to the ER. When they got there, his fever was 104. They have him on Tylenol to bring it down, are in the process of checking him into a room, and taking a chest x-ray. The early indication may be pneumonia but will know more in the next few hours.

I'll update the blog and facebook with the details as it progresses.

Titus has not had a hospital stay since Cincinnati (and that was for the effects of anesthesia after the evaluation that was done - he was NOT sick). So, it's been almost 8-9 months since Titus spent the night in the hospital for being sick. We are thankful for these long spells of good health. But it's amazing how you "kick in" to survival mode. The boys are taken care for tonight and tomorrow - and we'll make a plan each day (which is always how we do it - just take it one day/one hour at a time).

As we have stated many times, this does not catch God unaware - He has a plan.

Humbled

2010-05-22T06:57:00.001-05:00

Wow.

The article in the Dallas Morning News came out this morning. And, it brought tears to my eyes (and when was the last time you could say that about an article in the business section?). Becky and I were up early this morning (Titus had a rough night) and both read the article twice.

And we both looked at each other and said, "wow".

Maybe it's because our prayer is that this will have an impact, that families will see the need to financially plan for their child with needs, that families will realize there are resources available to assist, that people will realize that families like us are just every-day people who love our children dearly and will sacrifice for them.

Pamela Yip, the reporter, did a great job weaving the story together and accurately portraying all we told her.

John F Rhodes, the photographer, truly captured Titus spirit and smile. He snapped hundred of pictures that day, but the picture portrayed in the article is beautiful.

And it's the picture that really hit me.

You see, when Titus was born, we had all these grandiose plans for our 5th son. Like any proud parent, I wanted to send out a birth announcement telling everyone the date and details of his birth along with a great picture.

But when Titus ended up spending the first 6 months of his life in and out of hospitals, hooked up to numerous IV's and machines, going through numerous surgeries, having those hideous screws sticking out his jaws for weeks, we never really had the time. We were so concerned with his daily survival that sending out birth announcements never became a priority.

But today, I feel like that picture and article was his "life" announcement to the world. So here goes:

Paul and Becky D

along with big brothers Aidan, Noah, Tucker, and Cade,

are proud to announce the birth and amazing life of their son,

Titus Beck, born on November 14, 2007

He is "fearfully and wonderfully" made exactly the way God intended!

If you are reading our blog for the first time, I would encourage you to go back through and read about Titus' journey. You will see how it is a journey of faith. As a family, our faith in God our creator has deepened through the trials of the last few years. As a family, we have learned the comfort and peace that God provides in times of distress and pain. As a family, we have seen our friends and church (First Baptist McKinney) be the hands and feet of the body of Christ, caring for us. And as a family, it has drawn all of us closer together.

I am truly humbled by this. God is good.

Here's the link to the article.

Special-needs families' planning can be complicated | News for Dallas, Texas | Dallas Morning News | Dallas Business News

Posted using ShareThis

On a separate note, Titus had a rough night. He sounds a bit congested and his oxygen sats keep dropping. His alarms have gone off most of the night. Becky has been doing respiratory therapy since 5am this morning. Neither of us got a lot of sleep last night (and boy, are we thankful for good coffee/caffiene). Your prayers are appreciated.

Flipping Out

2010-05-20T08:17:00.000-05:00

One of the first things in therapy Titus began work on years ago was laying on his tummy and propping his body up with his arms. From there, it progressed to teaching him to roll over. He had to learn to lift his arm over his head and use those muscles to push him over on one side. And then he had to learn how to roll back.Titus has been able to roll over for quite some time, but there were days that he would roll over and then stay there.

Not anymore! Titus flips over on his tummy, props his arms under his chest and lifts that head. He will then flip back over on his back and flip over again (this time on his other side). He's learned that this gets him around the room. We will lay him down on his blanket, only to find 2 minutes later he has rolled, and flipped hiimself across the room. If he sees/senses a toy on the floor he wants, he is finding a way to work himself over to it.

And now, when he gets on his tummy, he is lifting his bottom up - he's trying to get those knees under him. He's not quite there yet, but boy-oh-boy, is he working on it. These are the times when you see that all the consistent therapy is working. It's a very slow process, but it's working.

One of the therapists stated that children like Titus who are not crawling/walking and not putting pressure on those bones tend to stop growing. The bones need that pressure of standing and movement to help stimulate growth. And Titus is growing. Putting him the stander is really helping him put weight on those legs. If you have seen him lately, you know how big he has gotten. He has long legs. His little feet are hanging off the edge of the stroller.

In our microwave world of instant gratification/satisfaction, Titus is my constant reminder that's it's the steady and consistent pace of work and therapy that shows the results. We cannot and will not give up. And it's exciting to see how far he has come, and how far he might go.

Btw, the article in the Dallas Morning News is scheduled for print this Saturday, May 22. It will be in the business section. We may just have a passing reference or quote, and then again, there may be pictures. I don't know yet, but I am trusting that what is written will be a help and resource to people. I'll post a link to the article once it's out there.

Spammed

2010-05-19T14:14:00.000-05:00

Let me start off with, it's been a very busy week. Becky has a sinus infection, I have a hacky cough, and my work is very intense for the next few weeks, plus I'm working to lose a few pounds prior to surgery and stopped drinking diet cokes (my head is splitting at the moment). To put it nicely, I'm cranky.

Now that I've set the tone, you can see my reaction as the phone rings last night from a friend in Houston informing me of spam emails that have been sent out from my email box advertising a certain pharmaceutical which I do NOT take.

I logged onto email, changed my password, ran my virus scan and performed several other operations, all the while receiving emails from various friends (some who I have not talked/emailed with in YEARS) asking about said inappropriate link in an email that I sent to them. So, I spent the rest of my time apologizing over and over again.

Had it been just my contacts in my email it wouldn't have been to broad, but I happen to have saved in my contacts the emails for several yahoo-groups that I am a member of - including my entire Sunday School class and 1/2 the church population I believe.

And the ironic thing is what I WAS doing yesterday. Last year, I (along with a co-hort - Hank O) wrote a workshop on Training Your Children on Technology or as I liked to call it 'Raising Daniels in a Technological Babylon'. I am updating the workshop to deliver again this summer, and yesterday during my lunch break, was all over the internet doing searches on security, facebook, spam, virus, etc. Apparently, I hit on something that wormed it's way in (but trust me, I was NOT searching about abovementioned pharmaceuticals).

In the event you received an email from me with nothing in the Title line and just a link - please delete and do not open. And please accept my apologies. I've been red-faced all day and heard more than enough jokes about little blue pills.

Relief in Sight

2010-05-12T09:55:00.000-05:00

For the last 2 years, I've lived with pain in my heels/feet. For the longest time, I blamed it on just getting old, but last year decided to go to a Podiatrist. The x-rays showed large bone spurs on both of my heels causing plantar fasciitis and tendinitis. After several months of therapy, foot straps, shoe inserts, and pain killers, the pain subsided a bit, but is still there. He kept hinting at surgery but would never commit. The therapist suggested the cardio I was doing at the gym wasn't helping, so I stopped working out, which caused my weight to go back up, which has caused my blood pressure to go up.

Monday, I went in for my phsyical, explained all the aches and pains of being 48 (and that's not a secret because if you are ever around Tucker, he shares my age with everyone). Of course, my blood pressure and weight gain is a huge concern, but working out has become very painful due to the foot/ankle pain. And for me, I loose weight (and keep it off) if I can at least walk 3 miles a day. Instead of putting me on high blood pressure medicine immediatley, he wanted to try to see if we could correct the other problems first. My doctor recommended an orthopedic surgeon who was able to see me Tuesday. The orthopedic surgeon took a look at my x-rays, explained the options of therapy and possibly surgery and then he said the magic words "I'm not a plan A , then plan B type of guy - my gut feeling is, therapy is only going to relieve some of the pain, but your probably going to need surgery anyway since those bone spurs are pretty big."

I said "when?" He said "June 9", and I cannot tell you happy I am. We'll do my left foot first, then my right foot in the fall. I realize crutches won't be easy for a few weeks, and wearing a boot in the heat of summer will be very stylin with my shorts, but to know that I will finally be able to stand up and walk without pain is such a relief. I never thought I would be so happy about having surgery but I am so ready.

Newspaper

2010-05-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

You can imagine my surprise when the phone rang at work last week and I heard "Paul, this is Pamela Yip with the Dallas Morning News - do you have a few minutes to talk?"

For those that know me well, then you know that I don't MOVE in the morning until I have had my cup of coffee and read the Dallas Morning News. There was a time I didn't move until I had read the Dallas Morning News and completed both crossword puzzles (but once we had kids - that luxury went out the window.)

Maybe it's a family tradition, but ever since I can remember, mornings were meant for reading the newspaper. My dad did it, my mom did it, and since I was in 5th grade, I have done it. I cut my teeth reading the Corpus-Christi Caller Times, but when I moved to Dallas, I had to try both dailies - the Dallas Morning News and the Dallas Times Herald, but settled on the Dallas Morning News. I read it from cover to cover, in order (Front Page, Metro, Sports, Business, & Entertainment - and no, I am not obsessive-compulsive, I just believe in routine.) In high school, I editor of the yearbook, and in college, I wrote for the school newspaper, so I love the power of print media. For me, it can't be duplicated by the internet, so I guess that makes me old-school. (And to my precious #3 son who continues to ask and repeat my age everywhere I go, I said old-school, not OLD!)

So my response to Ms Yip was "Of course I have time - and I read your articles in the Business section all the time." Ok, you are probably thinking, Paul - you are a major geek to get so excited to be called by a business news reporter, but take it from me, this was a MAJOR highlight of my week.

Somehow my recent blog posts on kids with special needs and how to treat their families has been emailed/forwarded all over and somehow it landed at the Dallas Morning News. And Ms. Yip was calling to ask me a few questions about financial plans for Titus and how we learned about that and what advice would we give other families.

I think I talked without taking a breath for about 15 minutes - I've never been good at talking in sound bites. But the opportunity to share with other families in a forum as big as the newspaper is incredible. Even if we are only quoted in one line, the opportunity to encourage a family is priceless.

Tonight, they are sending out a photographer to take pictures of the family. And I can hear them now telling us to "act normal" while they snap pictures. I'm not sure we even know what "normal" is with 5 boys and 2 dogs. I do know it won't be quiet, I'm sure someone will break out in silly song (Cade or Aidan), I'm sure someone may be shot with a bow and arrow (that would be Tucker), I'm positive Jude will bark, and I'm paranoid that the house won't be clean, but in the end, I know Titus will charm them with his sweet personality.

I do not know when the article will run or if it will even appear, but my prayer is that families with special needs will find some encouragement and help from the article. And, if through the article, people find this blog, then my prayer is that they will learn about a God who loves and cares for them deeply.

Go and Be

2010-05-04T16:31:00.000-05:00

We did Church last Sunday.

Preacher didn't say a word.
Choir didn't sing a note.
Ushers didn't pass the plate.

But the Church showed up in a mighty way and it was incredible see the Church in action.

Last weekend was 'Go and Be' weekend - part of our Transform Your World program. For the last 3 years, we have closed the doors to the building on Sunday morning and gotten the Church to go out in the community and serve. This weekend, our family served in Garage Giveaway - everything was free to families in need. And you would not believe the amount of goods and food and services the church had to offer. A grocery store in Waco delivered 3 semi's of food, a local manufacturer of women's clothing delivered several truckloads of brand-new clothes (tags still on), the community donated clothes, toys, furniture, and appliances. Bounce Houses were set up for the kids, free haircuts were given, free eye exams were given, and the list goes on.

Thousands of people in McKinney showed up and the Church was there to be the arms, hands, legs, eyes, and ears of the body of Christ.

And that is what Church is . . . it's not the building, it's not the service, it's not the preacher.

I think we have lost that focus over the last few generations. So much emphasis has been put on the building, or the style of worship or the personality of the preacher/staff or the programs. And that's not the Church. The Church is believers of Christ serving others. . . plain and simple.

And that's the other part that we have sometimes lost focus on. . . It's not about serving each other in the building, it's about serving OTHERS. And as a very wise man's wife says (shout out to Deanne R) "you can't meet their spiritual needs till you meet their physical needs.

And that's what Go and Be was all about. This year, multiple churches in the Dallas area were involved. We've used several slogans such as "the Church has left the building" or "Don't Go to Church . . . Be the Church". But what ever we say, it's been exciting to see more and more people get involved.

Aidan and Noah were great helps this year. Both boys helped unload trucks and cars that were donating supplies for the Garage Giveaway on Saturday and Noah helped with landscaping and teacher's gifts at Finch Elementary. Becky and I helped in several different areas - from unloading to registration. But for me, not only was it a joy to serve along with other believers, but it was a joy to see my boys learning the true meaning of being the Church. They worked hard, without complaint, and with a smile on their face. And my prayer is that as they grow, they continue to selflessly give, work tirelessly, and serve others.

And for those of you reading, I pray you find your part in the Church. And I have to ask - What is your function in the body of Christ - and are you using it (or sitting on it)? Are you "attending" or "serving"? Are you taking care of the needs of those around you (especially those families with special needs kids)? Are you asking "how can I help you" instead of "wasn't that a good service (for me)."

GO . . . and BE!

Through the Dust

2010-04-29T21:33:00.000-05:00

After yesterday's soap-box, I realized there were a few more things I wanted to share - and this is more about Titus and what we have learned. And what we as parents of kids with special needs can do.

I mentioned there are a lot of misconceptions about Medicaid. Initially, I thought we would never qualify since we had private insurance and I would exceed the salary requirements. I was always under the impression that Medicaid or state programs were only for those who could not afford private insurance.

This is not necessarily true. Many of the state programs in the state of Texas base their acceptance on the child's need, not the parents income. For us, Titus is considered Medically-Dependent - and through a several month-long process with help and assistance about the waiver program, Titus was accepted into the Medically Dependent Children's Program (MDCP) which approved him for Medicaid. But some children wait for years to be approved. For Titus and our family, this has been a blessing. It has provided a budget for nursing, aides, therapy, toys and other items that private insurance would not pay for. But for families that are still waiting, they carry the burden and cost.

And while I am very grateful for the assistance, it can also be overwhelming at times to realize your child is medically-dependent. In layman's terms, my child relies on pharmaceuticals, oxygen, 24hr care, and therapy to live. Without oxygen, Titus would not maintain his oxygen saturation and eventually (and quickly) erode his body. Without the medicines and breathing treatments he takes multiple times a day, his body would easily succumb to infection and secretions. Without therapy and nursing care, his muscles and eventually his cognitive abilty would waste away.

If I allow myself to dwell on the facts that my child is medically dependent to live, it could easily sink me into depression and grief. And I have had those times. As our incredible pastor, Dr. Jeff Warren at First Baptist McKinney, shared with us early in this journey - we will grieve. And we will grieve at various times throughout his life. At the time, I didn't understand that, but after 2 and half years, I am beginning to understand this. There are days the grief of "what I thought should have been" are overwhelming. There are days I can't look at another 2 year old child who is walking and talking without tearing up. There have been days I have just pulled my car off the road and cried. And I had to learn that doing so is part of the process of acceptance. But it doesn't stop - grief sneaks up on you when you least expect it some days.

Yesterday, I listed things you could do assist a family, but today, I really want to address parents of children with special needs. And, I would actually love to get your feedback and responses. But if you are reading this and you just found out your child has a special need, here's what I would encourage you to do.

Educate yourself - learn all you can about your child's disabilty. Join chat rooms, forums, read research papers, find the experts in the field and see what they say, but learn all you can.
Once you learn, be open and realistic to the outcome for your child. Accept who they are and what they can and will be able to do.
Along with the acceptance of your child's needs, you also have to let go of your hopes and dreams you had for this child. Your child will take a different path than others - one that you did not choose, but a journey all the same that will take both of you on a trip you never expected. You can choose to be open to the new journey or be bitter for what will not happen. Bitterness can destroy you - and although hard to let go of "your" dreams, you have to accept that there is a another plan for your child.
Don't get mad at God. Frankly, as I see it, He made me and can easily take me out if I get in the way. But Psalm 103:14 states "he knows how we are formed" and Psalm 139:14 tells me "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." God did not make a mistake when He formed your child. He did not turn his back, did not forget, did not ignore your prayers. He has a plan and made your child the way he is for a purpose.
Ask for help when you need it and accept help when offered. This was very hard for me at first. I didn't want people cleaning my house, cooking meals for me, doing my laundry, watching my other kids. I wanted to be super-parents who could do it all. But we aren't designed to live life independently like that. As Hilary Clinton named her book "It Takes A Village", you will need to learn that it takes a village to survive and help your child. And through that, you will learn what community means, what family means, what serving others means. You will learn to share and be vulnerable. You may learn that you have a nurse or aide in your house when you are asleep (and have to remember to not go to the kitchen for a drink of water in your underwear in the middle of the night.) You may learn to be elbow-to-elbow with a nurse in the kitchen when all you want is a cup of coffee.
Find a support group. You are going to need someone to talk to, cry with, ask questions of, be vulnerable with. Your immediate and close friends may not understand what you are going through - but true friends will be there as a shoulder to cry on, arms to lean on and prop you up, and prayers to ever sustain you. If you isolate yourself from your friends, they are not going to know how to help you out.
Stay true to your marriage. Be prepared that this will be hard on your marriage. Don't get jealous if you feel your spouse is spending more time caring for the child than they are with you. But also realize that you will need to train others to care for your child so that you can spend time on your marriage. Make the time. You will need each other more through this, especially in the early days as you learn about all the disabilities your child may have and what type of life they may be facing. Even in the midst of it all, remember that you vowed "through better or worse, through richer or poorer, through sickness and health". This will test those words - stay true to those vows.
Find a special needs financial planner in your area/state who can walk through a life-plan for your child. You do not want to make a foolish mistake that could disqualify your child for state programs for life, nor do you want to unknowingly pass up aid/support that is available. As hard as it is to think of your child's future when they are very young, you do not want to wait to late to make a plan for their long-term care when you will not be able to care for them or not around.
Find time to play with your child. Your child needs to be held, loved on, kissed on, and played with. He is still part of your family. If you have other children, teach them how to play with your child. I can tell you there is nothing sweeter than when I see one of my older boys get down on the floor and care for Titus. Titus knows his brothers and he knows he is loved by them.
Include your child in family activities whenever possible. It may be very difficult to take your child out in public. I understand that - there are days you don't want the stares or questions by strangers. But, don't rob yourself of keeping family activities and traditions they way you always have. It may take a little more planning and time, but take your child with you if possible. Titus goes to Tucker's baseball games, Aidan and Noah's swim meets, goes to store/mall shopping with us, goes to church with us. Yes, it means taking oxygen with us everywhere. And yes, unloading and loading the stroller get's old - but he will eventually have a walker or wheelchair, so it is not going to change. It is now just part of the routine. And trust me on this, you taking your child out will inspire others, will educate others, and will show others that a child with special needs can still be part of family activities. Know that your vacation plans may change, but still take a family vacation.
And as I mentioned above, remember it's ok to grieve. Let it out but don't live in it.

Through the last few years, I have learned to live Psalm 23 "the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want". Having a special needs child didn't test my faith, it has deepened it. It has taken me to some deep valleys where I have had to learn that God is truly my provider, my redeemer, my salvation.

Have I questioned God? - many times.
Have I got mad at God? - of course.
Have I screamed out WHY? - yep.
Did He ever leave me or forsake me? - never.

And that is where I have learned that "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. He works in ways I cannot see, God will make a way for me." (thank you Don Moen for penning those beautiful words to that song). So I carry on "through the dust". And I pray you will also find your way "through the dust".

Through the Cracks

2010-04-28T11:18:00.000-05:00

If you live in Dallas you have probably been shocked and saddened about the little boy dubbed Wylie's Angel. For those of you outside of the area, let me tell about this horific story.

Several weeks ago, workers hired to mow a city park near Lake Lavon in Wylie, TX, found the body of a 6-yr old little boy. There were no signs of trauma, no identification, no missing child reports - no evidence to point to what happened.

The police released a composite drawing of the child to the press along with the news that the child had been g-tube fed. A few days later, they released information stating the child was deaf-blind. My heart broke when I initially heard the news, but as details were released showing the little boy had special needs the same as Titus, I became more and more emotionally involved in the story.

As the weeks have progressed, the little boy was identified and his grandmother has been arrested and charged with his death.

The details around his short life are heart-breaking. At one month of age, he began to experience seizures. He was diagnosed with Well's syndrome, diagnosed deaf-blind, was fed through a g-tube, and had no control of his arms/legs.

His parents divorced when he was quite young - and there have not been a lot of details. His father is in the military and although he had not seen his child in 2 years, he regularly paid his child-support.

At one point, the child had been admitted to a care facility for full-time care, but for reasons unknown, the mother checked the child out of the facility, and then left the child with his grandmother. The mother now lives in Oklahoma and the grandparents were living in an extended stay hotel in a suburb here in Dallas.

And those are the only facts that have been released.

As I have read these stories, I question "why?" Why did this happen? Why didn't this child and her parents/grandparents get the assistance/help he needed? How did this child fall through all the cracks in the system especially after he had been diagnosed and checked into a facility?

But deep down, I know some of the answers to my questions. And if I can convey anything to those of you who read this, I want to let you know this.

Life with a child with special needs is hard. There is no way you can ever know what a family goes through until you live through it yourself. It's emotionally draining, physically exhausting, and tough. Statistics show that a majority of marriages that have a child with special needs ends in divorce. And that just makes life all the more difficult for the parent who remains as the primary care-giver.

And to add to all the difficulties of care you provide, you have to navigate an incredibly difficult web of state and government services and insurance to get the assistance your child needs. It's not a one-call-takes-care-of-all type of situation. Some agencies are easier to work with (major shout-out to HIPP - Texas Health Insurance Premium Program) while others require HOURS on the phone EVERY WEEK providing the same repetitive information over and over. In the beginning, Becky and I spent hours on the phone being transferred from one office to another, from one social worker to another, waiting on hold for answers to our questions. And since you have to call during working hours, time spent on the phone takes away time at work or time you should be caring for your child.

There are still services we are finding out about. And there is a lot of misinformation about Medicaid and other state programs. The waiting list for most programs are YEARS - and while you are waiting, you are still responsible for care and costs. Even toys that are designed for your child are so expensive that most people can only afford to buy one a year.

And even once you are approved, you are still tending to the daily needs of your child and your family but also have to learn to bond/meld with a nurse/aide that may be assigned to your family.

At least, that's what we do. We have stated, we never want Titus to be a "houseplant" sat in the corner and ignored. We work with him, our nurses/aide works with him, his brothers play with him. And Titus responds.

But we know we aren't like other families. Some families can't afford the time on the phone to get to the right people to talk to. Some people are confused by the questions on the forms you have to complete (i.e. "how many chickens/livestock do you own?" - I kid you not - that is one of the questions). Some people don't want to ask for help. Some people are ashamed/embarrased by their child. Some people are depressed and tired from dealing with their child and can't handle anything more. Some people don't have a support system. Some people feel like they have no other options. Some people don't like to ask for help.

And some people abandon their child to die in a park.

I accept that we live in a broken, fallen world. But I also believe every life, every heartbeat is crafted by God and has a purpose. And this little boy needs to serve as catalyst for change that we (and I do mean all of us) need to open our eyes and make a difference to a family that needs help.

You may think there is nothing you can do, your effort would be too small, and you don't know how to help. Or maybe you feel uncomfortable (get over it - it's not about you), but let me tell you a few things anyone can do.

If you see a family with a child with special needs - offer them a smile. Speak to the child even if you don't get a response. Never ignore the child or look away.
Take the time to get to know them.
Ask if you help (they may say no way - but keep asking). Ask questions like "how could I help you out on Tuesday mornings? (make it a specific time when you are available not just something general). Be willing to do their laundry, mow their lawn, clean their kitchen, run an errand, read their child a book, etc.
Ask them if they can show you how to help care for their child so that they could have a few hours away or a date with their spouse.
Give them a hug.
Write them a note. Tell them you admire them for their dedication to their child. (Quick note to the unknown prayer warriors at The Heights Church in Richardson - you will never know how much your little notes to us every week mean to us - we have never met you personally, but the 2-3 notes we get every week lift us up).
Find a special needs financial planner in the area and take the family to them - even pay for the consultation. We would never know some of the things we do if it had not been for TJ Kroehle and Mike DeGucci.
Take them a meal or better yet, have them over to your house for a meal.
Ask your church to have a special needs ministry or host a night-out for parents of special needs kids
Realize that birthdays for their child can be hard - the day of their birth generally doesn't bring back happy memories. But recognize the child on their birthday - they probably won't have the special type of parties/celebrations that you would plan for your children for numerous reasons. And gifts/toys for the child are hard to buy. But once you know what type of stimuli the child needs in a toy - be on the look out for toys like that. Ironically, some of the best toys for Titus we have found at the pet store.
Realize that child probably does not have friends his own age; doesn't get invited to parties; doesn't play t-ball, soccer; doesn't always have "cute" clothes or bows in their hair; doesn't have portraits taken. So make it a point to do those things - include the child - teach your own children to be comfortable and kind to a child with needs (not to point or ignore).
If your child asks a blunt question such as "What's wrong with them?" - it's ok. For us as parents, it's a time to educate the child and show your child how to interact with my child. Don't turn your child around or apologize. Trust me - we are use to it - and we have learned how to answer the question. But also know that some parents have a hard time with that, so be willing to step in and state "I'm sorry - we are working on my child's blunt approach - but tell me about your son/daughter?"
Volunteer at CASA - Court Appointed Special Advocates
Get to know a social worker - they are underpaid, overworked, but can be a wealth of information.
And last of all, pray. Pray for the child, pray for the family, pray for the marriage, pray that others will see this child as a blessing not a burden.

My prayers still go out to Wylie's Angel and his family. My comfort is in knowing that this child is now the arms of God and perfectly healed, but there is still a lot of healing/comfort that needs to happen hear on earth for this broken family.

Smiles

2010-04-23T11:07:00.000-05:00

Loves these pictures of Titus with his sweet smile.

There was a Time . . .

2010-04-22T11:24:00.000-05:00

It's been said that true life is stranger than fiction . . . and there are day's that true life is funnier than anything your imagination could make up. Last night was one of those nights.

Becky stayed at church for choir and Aidan stayed with her to hang with friends. As I was driving home from church with Noah, Titus, Tucker, Cade, and Nurse Lisa, Tucker announces from the back seat, "I gotta go to the bathroom".

Dad: "Tucker, you will have to wait till we get home."
Tucker: "But Dad, I gotta go Big Poo!"
Dad: "You can hold it."
Noah: "Maybe you can stop along the side of the road and he can go just like the dogs".
Dad glaring through the rearview mirrow: "Noah, that's not helping".
Tucker: "Dad, I REALLY GOTTA GO!"
Dad: "Son, you can make it."

Well, Tucker wasn't the only one who needed a restroom. All through Bible Study, I had been sipping on a Big Gulp of Diet Coke, and my bladder finally indicated it was about as full as it was going to get. But I am an adult - I can hold it without announcing it to everyone in the car.

We pull in the garage and it takes 5 minutes for everyone to get out of the car. Why it takes Tucker and Cade 5 minutes to get out of the Suburban when both of them had stated they needed a restroom, I do not know. I do know that Cade had to get out of the backseat first before Tucker could get out, and I do believe he was using this little bit of control as a show of power over his older brother.

I unbuckle Titus and take him to his room while Lisa begins his nighttime routine of therapy and meds.

I take the puppy outside since he's barking incessantly and he also needs to go. I come back in the house to go the bathroom and the hall bathroom door is shut. Cade announces he is in there. I go to my bedroom and to use my own bathroom, but Tucker announces he is in there. Noah (the ever helpful 2nd born) announces that I should go upstairs. My legs were shaky enough at this point that I informed him I was not walking upstairs and should have priority over my own bathroom.

And then I hear this from Tucker behind the bathroom door, "Dad, I pooped on the floor".

"You did WHAT?"

"I couldn't hold it and it slipped out and I pooped on the floor".

At this point, I'm not sure what came over to me, but in disbelief I told him to open the door and show me.

And, yes, sure enough, there it was.

And this is when my mind went into a deja vu fog of what my life use to be.

There was time I lived in a spotless, immaculate house with a perfect weed-free lawn. Now, I step over legos and dog toys scattered all over the house and stare in disbelief at the weeds that have taken over my back yard.

There was a time when I drove a luxury sports coupe and enjoyed the envied stares I would get as I drove by. Now, I drive a mini-van with stow-n-go seats (and no one stares in envy except the occasional soccer mom).

There was a time my evenings were quiet, I could sit in a comfortable chair, and I ruled the remote control. Now, I sit in the back of the living room while my two oldest lounge on the sofas with a grip on the remote control.

There was a time I went to the movies and enjoyed the entire experience of surround sound and large screen action. Now, I go to the movies once a year with 4 boys to see an animated feature but I miss portions of it shuttling little ones to the bathroom.

There was a time I bought clothes that were NOT on sale - if I saw it and I liked it, I bought it. Now, I shop twice a year, at Dillards end-of-season 75% off sale (and if I'm lucky I hit the additional 30% off weekend).

All of these thoughts flooded my mind as I stared at floor. Tucker finished his business, and ran off to bed, and I knelt on the floor to clean up the mess (and mop the floor, and scrub my hands). An hour ago, I had been emailing a senior Vice President on salary and bonus bands for job categories, and now, I'm on my knees scrubbing the floor - such is life.

I Thessalonians 4:11 states to "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands"
There was a time when life was all about me, all about what I wanted, all about my pursuit of happiness. And that was part of the problem - it was all about me. It took years for me to realize that life was not about me, not about seeking attention for myself, not about getting what I wanted.

There is a joy in serving others. As a husband, I will do anything for my wife - go to any lengths. As a dad, I love my boys like nothing else in this world and will protect them, serve them, (and yes, clean up after them). And as a Christ-follower, I long to see the world through his eyes so that I may serve Him and serve others.

So I smile, I laugh, and I enjoy the life and surroundings that God lets me experience.

Don't Mess With Titus!

2010-04-16T09:26:00.000-05:00

With 5 boys, we have a complete arsenal of weapons: cap guns, toy guns, airsoft guns, bb guns, bows & arrows, swords of all shapes and sizes. So, it was the natural turn of events that Titus would eventually join in the fray. The look on his face says it all . . . "Don't mess with Titus".

Quick Update on Titus

2010-04-15T13:40:00.000-05:00

Titus went to the doctor on Monday for a follow-up on his ear infection. His ears are clear of infection and there is no fluid buildup behind his left ear. Just by the way he was acting, we felt the antibiotics had cleared everything up, but it was good to have it confirmed.

With Titus, we have learned it's the very small things that are the victories in his life. The smile of recognition of a toy, the way he reaches out to touch me or leans over when I sit down next to him, the way he chuckles when placed in his bed, the open hand that reaches out to explore instead of a closed fist.

And I am reminded that's the slow and steady of repetition and therapy that mark the improvements we see. I was reminded of this verse today during some other discussions and it's very apropos for today.

Habakukk 2:3 (New Living Translation)
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed."

I do have a vision that one day Titus will be able to sit unassisted, but it won't be this week, this month, and maybe not even this year. But I do have a vision.

I have a vision that one day he will use a walker to enable him some movement. He is working very hard at it and it will take a lot more work and stamina and patience, but I do believe.

And I have a vision that one day in eternity, I will see my son walking and dancing and singing and seeing all the glorious colors of heaven. As hard as it is to see my son trapped in the constraints of his earthly body, I know it's only temporary in the light of eternity.

Tucker's Homecoming Day

2010-04-08T13:35:00.000-05:00

Five years ago today, we brought Tucker home from Seoul, Korea. The memories of that day still resonant in my mind.

When we flew to Korea, we met Tucker the first full day we were there. We sat nervously in the reception room waiting for our appointment to meet with him and his foster mom. When they walked in, his foster mom did not notice us sitting there, but we immediately knew that the baby she was holding was our son. We had looked at his pictures for 6 1/2 months and had watched the videos that had been sent to us, so we recognized him immediately. During that first meeting, we just wanted to hold him and smother him with kisses. He, of course, wanted his foster mom since he had now clue who these two crazy white people were.

Several days later, a taxi took us to his foster parents home and we got to see the place where he lived his first 8 months of life. We met his foster dad, we gave gifts, we communicated through an interpreter as best we could, but our eyes were fixated on this little bundle of energy. The visit with his foster parents told us one thing - this little boy was deeply loved. This couple had been foster parents for 20+ years, but they had never had one child as long as they had had Tucker. They were deeply attached to him. The adoption agency had informed us that we would take possession of Tucker that night since we were leaving early the next morning for Dallas.

A few hours later, it was raining sofly outside. Another family was also recieving their son that night. We were all waiting in the lobby at the adoption agency with the social worker and the director. The other little boy had arrived - Hank. He was 18 months old and was a non-stop talker and walker. It seemed like we waited for hours, but in reality it was probably 15 minutes before Tucker and his foster mom arrived. She was quite flustered that she was late and was very apologetic.

She held Tucker so tightly as she started to cry. She placed him in our arms as the director prayed a blessing. She stood there and started to sob and Becky put her arms around her. And the three of us stood there holding each other as I held Tucker. She continued to kiss him and touch him.

And my heart started to break. This precious woman who had given countless hours to care for this little boy was selflessly handing him over. And I kept thinking of his birth mom, who had done the same thing in this same building 8 months before - handing over her son selflessly.

Our social worker stepped up, put her arms between us and the foster mom, and gently said "It's time for you to go". We repeated "thank you, thank you, thank you" through our tears as we stepped to the elevator that would take us to our room. The foster mom followed us, holding her hand out to Tucker and sobbing, The social worker stood behind her, holding her.

And the elevator doors closed.

It was the slowest elevator ride up those 5 flights. We walked off the elevator and to our room. It was the first time we had been alone with Tucker. He looked at us, and the bottom lip began to quiver. And then he began to cry, then sob, and then wail. Our agency had told us that children, even babies would grieve their loss and that this could happen, but Becky and I thought "surely not our child".

Tucker cried for 2 hours - non-stop. We went down to the family room on the 4th floor to visit with the other families staying at the adoption agency who were waiting to receive their children. Hank, the other boy who received his new family that night, was running around in circles, playing, laughing, and have a great time. His new mom was trailing behind him. The other families looked at Hank and smiled. Then they looked at us and would stop smiling. They kept repeating "it will be ok" over and over. Looking back now, I think they were talking to themselves instead of us. We could see the apprehension that was building up in their eyes thinking "what will my child do when he's placed in our arms?"

Tucker finally quieted down and went to sleep. We pushed our two twin beds together and had Tucker sleep between us. The next morning, he was quiet. It took a lot of coaxing to get a smile or laugh. Once we got on the plane, he preferred the flight attendants over us, but we made it home with just a few breakdowns (and one major throw-up on take-off).

Once we arrived at DFW, we knew the quiet moments of just the 3 of us would end as Tucker would be meeting his brothers and extended family. As we walked through the hallway to the doors leading us outside of customs, we heard shouts of "here they come!" What a sight it was to walk out and see 50+ friends and family welcoming us home. Aidan and Noah ran up to meet their baby brother. We were a family of 5 now.

The last 5 years have flown as my little bundle of energy has become a Daily boy. Each child in our family brings a different flavor and facet. Tucker is our sanguine son. He never meets a stranger, knows everyone's name, plays with anybody, loves all animals (especially worms right now). He's all boy through and through. He's our little fearless jock and still our cuddlebunny. He has a great sense of humor and loves to tell knock-knock jokes.

And most of all, he's our son.

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

2010-04-07T12:52:00.000-05:00

Titus is finding himself in the mirror these days. And, they have been working on the word "Baby" with him. When we say/sign baby, we hand him his baby. He actually has two baby dolls, but as you can see, he prefers one over the other.

Family Pic

2010-04-04T21:33:00.000-05:00

With 5 boys, it's next to impossible to get one shot where we are all looking at the camera. So, this is about as good as it's going to get.

Happy Easter everyone!